A Complete Person

     Last year, in June, a Marie Claire magazine article stated that 32% of women in the U.S. between the ages of 50 and 55 were unmarried. It expounded on the world of singleness for women as being much more liberated from past conventions than at any other time in history. The stories of several women pointed out that they had not always been single or unattached but had found life better in a singular state than that of dating or being married. I enjoyed the article because I suppose it made me feel more reassured that all the questions and remarks I have fielded over the years about my singleness were now as outdated as calling someone a spinster at a certain age. I have taken that guff for granted all my life, so much so, that I'm not about to start worrying or caring about it now. I don't have a remembrance of ever feeling as if anything was missing in my life- from the time I was fifteen years of age up to the present- by not being engaged or married. Dating is still of interest to me so I am not a hermit-type and I honestly don't feel I need someone to accompany me to go anywhere unless they just want to come along for the ride or vice-versa for that matter. 

     Apparently, this is a concept that the rest of the world couldn't even fathom up to only a few years ago. Meanwhile, I have obliviously continued on with living my life- working, traveling, writing and checking out this ever fascinating world we live in without caring whether a male was by my side or not. I can go either way but I don't understand the imperative need of companionship. My singularity has reached a vintage that is heady, exhilarating and even empowering.

     After putting down the magazine I started thinking about where I'd seen indicators that someone might think I was not normal or for me to question myself of where I fit into society- bite my tongue ! How many of you out there remember the movie Jerry Maguire in which Tom Cruise (who played the title role) stated to Renee Zellweger who played Dorothy- these three words which took on a life all their own for chick flicks then and on into the future. They were: "You complete me." I remind myself that he said those words- not his girlfriend- who betrays herself by rejoindering, "You had me at hello."

     While the rest of sisterdom broke out in tears or even began to cheer I sat there with a totally puzzled look and asked myself, "Whaaat?" How does someone complete another person? If you are feeling shattered or incomplete no one is going to repair you with a proposal. I am going to say this here and now and I don't care if anyone likes it or not. If you do not bring a whole and entire person into a marriage relationship then you are going to be that relationship's weakest link. Furthermore, that relationship is not going to complete, re-solder or mend your broken pieces. Humpty Dumpty was left hanging by all the King's horses and all the King's men, remember?

     I don't think my resolve will ever be a popular decision. Remaining single is no picnic. It's difficult being chief cook and bottle washer to you and yourself alone but it does have its perks. However, this is not the kind of life for most people and I won't recommend it either. It states in the Bible that it is not good for man to be alone and I think that equally applies to women. You can carry something away from my elaborate tirade today, however, no matter what state you find yourself in- married, dating seriously, living together or precariously single. If a relationship isn't going well or you're thinking that being single might better suit you, be prepared for some soul-searching and being about the business of learning to like and then, ultimately, love yourself. Learn to listen to your inner dialogue. Examine your head and determine if you really know where your life is headed and if you want to continue the way you are or stop and do something entirely different. The possibilities are endless and it's one of the most wonderful aspects of remaining single. Goodnight- and good luck !

 

Completely wild about you !

 

The Castle Lady  

        

       

And the summer ends...

     I don't know about you but I always feel a little wistful at summer's end- so much so that I have written poems about it. One in particular that I put up on the blog which is now hosted by Word Press comes to memory and is probably my most poignant. (Check August 2009 archives http://thecastlelady.wordpress.com for the poem Goodbye to Summer.) The great thing about summer's end is that autumn happens to be my favorite season and it was always that way. This year the second half of August was so hot that when the weather changed to rainy and cold last week I started waking up refreshed and with all my zip back. I started a poem at the beginning of this summer which I thought would be a great muse catalyst and I rather waited for the poem to write itself- as I have done in the past. It's the newest entry titled The Designed World and I'm working on a translation for my French blog http://matite.over-blog.com which will go up in a couple of days.

     Perhaps grief got in my way but most likely the delay happened because there is only so much leisure time for my mind anymore. It's unfair but true. I am now doing all the work that life imposes on us completely by myself and it doesn't leave much room or time for the work I feel is more important than grocery shopping or cooking and cleaning. Today I was thinking about the English platitude: two heads are better than one and now I think I agree with it on principle alone. Somehow even a small contribution in handling matters around the house or finances makes all the difference in the time factor and it feels more human. If you don't believe me try going it alone some time, if you don't already have that deal. It's not just the workload, though. I used to bounce quite a few ideas off my Mom just to get clarification. We were opposites in quite a few opinions and tastes but it helped me make decisions and choices faster. Go figure.

     At any rate, I always find that autumn gives me more energy, the natural odors and aromas smell fresher and the mornings more invigorating than at any other time of year. I wish I could find a locale that is like autumn all the time but I have a feeling that no such place exists. It is a time not a place. Soon it will be time to put away that lawn mower and go dance in the leaves.

     Heaven !

Enjoy it like I do !

 

The Castle Lady 

         

  

Secrets...Government or otherwise

     If the PRISM scandal didn't concern or scare you then you are officially the bravest, blindest or most moral person on the planet. I have been undertaking some serious contemplation on the issue of privacy and government spying. I felt this would be an excellent time to get into it by looking at the picture from a broader perspective. Here's something that has been completely reversed in my estimation. For as far back as the 60s or possibly longer, people have talked about government secrets. I'm sure the Rosenburgs made this side of the issue much hotter than it should have been- no pun intended, really ! From a practical viewpoint we don't want people who are privy to inside government information telling the rest of the world such knowledge. Our current security surveillance is technologically advanced with drones and other devices which we don't even know about, I'm certain. That is supposedly to keep us all safe- not knowing. Whether you agree with this or not is your privilege as an American citizen but believe me, most of us do not want certain data about how our government is run to be revealed to officials in foreign countries- allies or no. That classified information should remain just that for the overall good.

     The obvious disadvantage is that we may not be able to trust our government agents with this knowledge. History has taught us otherwise. If the Snowden deal hasn't taught us that lesson then we had all better start paying attention. Snowden didn't tell me anything I hadn't already suspected but I have a suspicious nature toward clandestine deals and subterfuge of any kind. He has brought to light downright deception on the part of the government- that's true- but he hasn't made me feel that his actions are of character, either. Almost every elected and appointed government official were willing to forgive him and that's where I part ways with all of it. Mistrust of the government on a broad scale started shortly after our involvement in Vietnam and I believe it has proliferated exponentially since then to a grand scale. It makes having a good and secure democracy nearly impossible.

     In situations of trust it is imperative that it be earned. No one trusts anyone or anything if they have proved to be anything but trustworthy on large or small issues. It is time for the people who have been elected to government jobs and offices to start showing true character by showing they are trustworthy. For many years, from the White House on down, the American people have tolerated lies and deception for too long and we must all do our part to get back on the road to trust by starting with the truth and continuing to walk in that path. I'm issuing this challenge to everyone, however. Trust begets trust and mutual gains can be had by showing respect to those who deserve it. Let your Bible be your guide.

 

It is no secret that I'm for doing the right thing!

 

The Castle Lady

 

  

                     

There are fairs and then there are fairs...

This past weekend I finally attended a book fair which has been held every year for twenty nine years running here in Denver. I have wanted to attend this two-day expo for many years, based on recommendations, but for some reason something else always came up. For 2013, I decided that nothing would stop me from going. There is a huge venue just outside the city off a main highway called the Denver Merchandise Mart (now just referred to as the Mart) where the Rocky Mountain Book and Paper Fair has been held (most likely since they started) and it's a great place for just such an event of this size. During the two day event  one has the opportunity to talk to experts in their fields of specialty. This year they had four confirmed speakers who were conservators themselves. I had a chance to talk to Karen Jones, a local book restorer, after her two hour workshop on book preservation. I needed some advice on the extremely rare book I purchased about the best way to restore it- being as how it is a 180 year old book whose pages still turn and is entirely legible with the images clearly visible and unmarred ! Other speakers gave lectures on conservations of textiles, paintings, decorative and historic objects along with the subjects of books and paper items. One, Christopher Lane, presented a short hour-long talk on how and why to build collections with emphasis on antique prints and maps.  

I knew pretty much what I could expect to see when I got there because I've heard about the fair from other attenders- whether they were regulars or not. If I nailed this one down to basics I'd say that this is the type of fair for people who really enjoy the arts, sciences and literature. An antiquarian's dream, basically. For me, every booth was intensely interesting with the exception of western and southwestern Americana which is more of a background interest since I am somewhat overexposed to those genres being a native Coloradoan. It seemed to me every medium and subject was touched on whether it is maps and cartography, rare, collectible or specialty books or post-cards- the latter of which has been a passionate collecting hobby of mine from an extremely young age. My collection is probably small by comparison to other life-long collectors but I have a very well rounded and international set, most hand picked by me from the areas in question. A small amount were gifts from other travelers who were thoughtful friends. A good portion of my collection are antiques bought from antique stores- even some historic view post cards which appear to be double images but must be viewed through a special lens viewer to make the subject appear three dimensional. They had several vendor booths there who had brought vast collections with them. I found out about a special post card collectors club there from one of the vendors and I think I'll go to their next event and check them out !

Other items you will see at such a fair are print artwork- both collectible and rare plus exotic and ethnic posters, framed art, ephemera and travel memorabilia alongside old travel brochures and ads. There were eighty-one exhibitors in all this year but I was only able to really get into half of those and went home reeling from the overwhelming amounts of materials I had looked at and perused. Having to walk away from so many things I would have loved to buy and take home was equally overwhelming. The one irresistible item, the aforementioned book, which will become essential very soon was wrought with beautifully lithographed photos of Ireland including many castles caught. It is in excellent shape and had been published in 1833. Later I found an interesting flaw in two pages of text that will make this a very rare book and worth quite a bit more money, eventually, after I restore it.

Treasuring each and every bit,

The Castle Lady

    

Justified Victim or Out-of-Control Vigilante ?

     Since a juror of the case has finally come forward I have decided I will not be silent on the issue of the Zimmerman trial- the biggest travesty which has recently gone through our judicial system in the U.S. Even if I throw out the obvious problems this trial presented- racial profiling, concealed weapon, unnecessary force, unlawful surveillance (i.e. stalking) or even improper jury selection, it is incomprehensible to me that a man could shoot and kill an unarmed person, go through a murder trial with admission of the actual crime and yet walk away exonerated. Whatever the decision of the jury, who were decidedly not peers to Zimmerman or Martin in any sense of the word, I have concluded that there was nothing in Zimmerman's actions that evening which can be viewed as non-prevocational behavior. I also cannot help but view Martin as a victim since he is the one who has been buried by a family devastated by the loss of their son. Up until the moment of confrontation with a stalker, Trayvon Martin had shown quite a bit of promise for his future. Those are irrefutable facts as I see it.

     If the evidence presented had been done properly then a totally different profile of Zimmerman would have emerged in my estimation. It would have been an open and shut case if all the evidence was presented and not just what was agreed upon by those who were only trying to win a case for their client. Trayvon was not present to talk to a lawyer about what happened that night so we can only go by who actually witnessed the event, firsthand or secondhand. The operators at 911 cannot interpret who was crying for help that night but the strongest witnesses put on the stand were those of two women- the mothers of these two men- queried of whose voice cried for help on the call. The jury and judge that presided needed the wisdom of Solomon for this one. Instead, there was a standoff. Both women say it was their son's voice. This illogical presentment of circumstantial evidence gives us a sense that the trial achieved nothing and should have been thrown out as a mistrial by the judge. Obviously, they weren't both telling the truth.

 

There is enough real racism in this world without making it up where it does not exist.

-Craig Silverman

 

     As it stands, Zimmerman cannot be retried in a court of law for the same crime twice. If this is allowed to escalate into another one of those civil cases- which could veer way off course- it may turn a clear case of murder into an issue of racial bias instead. This causes our country to be divided on issues that never seem to be resolved and especially in this case I feel that it is almost irrelevant. Placing this case on the burning hot plate of racial bias will most likely only skew the facts further, I imagine. As far as Zimmerman goes, I do not believe that the word innocent should be applied to someone who has taken another person's life. However anyone wishes to view this man as a person, he is definitely guilty of manslaughter- that is a fact that cannot be interpreted any other way.

 

Standing up for what I believe is right !

 

The Castle Lady

 

A man does not look behind a door unless he has stood there himself. - Henri du Bois

 

 

Immigation and True Reform

     I've read all the commentary before the current Reform Bill was passed and have read quite a bit of the flak published since it was passed. The Washington Post writer, Rubin Navarrette recently wrote a long and comprehensive piece which came the closest to a proper criticism of the outcome concluding that we still need immigration reform ! That should tell you something. Let's back all the way up, however, and examine a few aspects no one even wants to look at anymore because it would mean that everyone failed to come up with an answer.

     The truth is that the original immigration bill worked because people came here not to change our government or seeking asylum but to embrace the country and its constitution, as is. We didn't have amendments then. What we had was a bill of rights and very few taxes. I lived in San Diego long enough to witness runs of illegal aliens across the Tijuana border, under cover of night, being systematically shot at by border patrol on the TV newscast nearly every night. If we only look at our Mexican border issue concerning immigration, however, we are doing a disservice to the people who come here with the express purpose of making the U.S.A. their home. They may not necessarily want to come here because our streets are lined with gold. Perhaps there is something back in the old country they can no longer abide and feel they need a safe haven. If so, they'll fill out the proper paperwork and do all the necessary matriculation to be able to stay here safe and secure. That's the theory, anyway.

     In recent news an Ethiopian immigrant known in Denver as Habteab Berhe Temanu was spotted by a fellow countryman, Kiflu Ketema, who recognized him as a former Red Terror prison guard who, as one of many, tortured and killed dozens of political prisoners throughout the 1970s. He made it to America and has been living here for more than a decade under an assumed name which was done with falsified documents using another man's identification to gain actual citizenship. His real name and background were exposed in Federal Court in Denver recently and after he admitted that his real name was actually Kefelegne-Alemu Worku and that he, in fact, had committed all the atrocities which  Kiflu Ketema had accused him he went on further to say, "I apologize for my errors. I simply wanted to live in America." Judge John Kane has urged him to withdraw an offer to plead guilty and to say he wants to go to trial instead. This judge is being kind to a man who, if he does plead guilty, will have his citizenship revoked and be deported to his country where he has already been tried, in absentia , and sentenced to death. Does this sound like the type of immigration reform that is desirable ? This man is not a legal citizen.

      The United States has gone through a series of immigration reform bills which have never been enforced in the truest sense. We have never spent enough money for the right or best border patrol and apparently no one thinks it's necessary to pledge allegiance to our country in order to be a bonafide citizen, anymore. Necessary paperwork to become a legal citizen is feasible for those who will go through the proper channels in order to do so. It also reduces the chances that felons and criminals from other countries gain access and credibility in our country. Ellis Island was the original station by which each individual coming to the U.S. was checked for disease and papers from the old country if they had them. (WOP originally was tagged to many Italians who came to the U.S. without a passport!)  Observing our official language has been eroded statewide and just by the sheer number of illegal immigrants- 11 million strong at current calculation- we have a language barrier issue that is unprecedented. The current reform bill will be the most difficult reform to enforce ever. What do you think the chances are that it will be enforced properly? Check into U.S. immigration reform history and you'll have the answer.

     In France the official language is so carefully guarded to avoid this problem that every bit of published or printed matter is sent to a control center in Paris for approval before it can be distributed anywhere within France's borders. They are serious about making sure that the official language of Le Francais is protected and enforced. Why is that important ? So that, no matter where you come from in this world, we can ascertain your sincerity of purpose in being here by making sure that you can be understood by everyone regardless of where you came from, your personal situation or state of emergency- if that applies. Official languages are kept for a very good reason and observance shows respect for the wishes of the majority of the people who live in said country. Personally, I won't even travel to an area in which English is secondary without learning the language good enough to be understood by the natives. It is a common old world courtesy and should still be observed in my estimation. It's polite if nothing else.

     Why don't we just go back to the beginning and start all over again? I'm buying my ticket to Ellis Island right now. English should be a cinch.

 

Bisous émigré !

 

The Castle Lady

 

 

        

Snowden- Man Without a Country

     I remember my first English Lit class when I started High School. The story presented in that first day of class was Man Without a Country. None of the students could relate to it because every single student in class had been born in the country of the United States. After that first class I had a healthy respect for the fact that I was born in the 'greatest country in the world'. This was impressed upon me, and I'm sure I can speak for everyone in that class as well, by the fact that the teacher of said class ( his surname was Gulizia- Italian ) pressed the idea strongly into our heads that this could never happen to a United States Citizen unless you became a proven traitor to the country.

    Reading an article the other day comparing Snowden to Daniel Ellsberg made me shake my head. Later on, I did find a rebuttal to that idea and I was glad to see it. There is no comparison. (If you want to read the article just Google The Washington Post and Jonathan Capehart, the journalist that wrote it.) What I want to say here is that Capehart could've gone much further in many aspects. Daniel Ellsberg exposed the government through the Pentagon Papers directly to the government. He didn't hand the bureau he worked for to the man on the street for a nickel. He never left the country because he didn't do anything that would necessitate the need to leave the country. Neither did Snowden- an independent contractor, no less- until the rest of the world found out, after he went on the lam, that the U.S. was spying on everybody. You can thank Snowden for that. It's ironic that he has been cornered in Russia. They don't hate us, they hate him. Big difference.

     Can't you just hear all the South American presidents and dictators all snickering together and saying, "Tell him....hee hee hee...tell him....hee hee hee... we'll take him if he can get someone to provide him with a visa to get here. Haw haw." Instead of turning himself in, after he was basically spurned out of Hong Kong with a slinky, he makes his way toward Russia. I'll bet he thought that he couldn't be touched there. Now that Obama has gotten Mueller safe in his padded cell and sworn in Comey, who hates sneaky surveillance with a passion, I'm sure that they'll let bygones be bygones. Pay no attention to those files charged behind the iron curtain, Eddie !

     I hope this will be a good lesson to all who think they can get away with this type of treason to the United States. He's not a hero, folks. This one is a coward. This is the home of the free and the brave- not the running with a bone for their life.

 

Just my two cents worth,

 

The Castle Lady 

Why Love is More Important Than Money

Love is the emblem of Eternity:

 it confounds all notion of time,

effaces all memory of a beginning,

all fear of an end.

- Germaine De Stael

     Let's face it, today in the techno modern world everyone believes that their physical needs are the most important aspect of living. It is important to take care of yourself, however, if we only look after ourselves we miss out on a deeper quality of life when we limit that care only to ourselves. We aren't even built that way. Our brains are equipped to handle a much larger load of complex problems to be solved than any animal you can name- no matter how smart you believe Fido or Fifi to be. We're wired to help- not ignore- one another.

     If you think about other people, who are (or aren't) a part of your life and what they mean to you and their contribution to your life then you will come to a better understanding of what I'm trying to convey. Many, you will find, are in your life for more intrinsic reasons than what they specifically do for you. I have counted my manicuring and nail clients as friends in many cases but our relationships were just a little bit better defined than most. I would point out that they started as clients first then we became friends. I'm sure that for most people, clients remain more at a distance while co-workers are the likely candidates for friendship. Remember that a good part of this is dependent on how you specifically develop close relationships. I'm sure everyone is different in this manner.

     Whatever philosophy you have kept or adopted in your life, everyone is aware of the Golden Rule. If you are not, it is simply this: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a good credo for people who seem to flounder when it comes to love relationships. I suppose, eventually, friendships you develop in your life which flourish more than others help you come to find and truly know the qualities of love. You won't have to speculate whether those particular relationships are true or not because you'll simply feel it in your heart. 

  

Needy is better than greedy,

The Castle Lady      

Daily Baskets

     Rarely, if ever, do I actually write about myself on this (or any other) blog but today will be different. You'll have to forgive me if I seem a little whimsical and funny but seeing all the humorous aspects of my situations has become a habit. Think of it this way- at least I'm not so conceited that I can't laugh at myself. As it is, I can't help it. Laughing out loud at photos of myself, people ask me what I think is wrong with the photo. Usually, if I'm smiling or laughing- it just looks so goofy to me. At any rate, I wanted to write very briefly about my seven year foray into the addition of adding baskets (as in, basketball) everyday along with my daily walk. I've been walking on a daily basis every morning since the summer of 1983 and feel that it has kept me in good shape. Most people mistake me for being twenty years younger than my age so I must be doing something right.

     Back in 2006 someone asked me if I ever played basketball and as a matter of fact I used to try to play basketball with my brother and his friends because we had a mini-basketball court in our backyard and my brother did take the time to show me how to get the ball in the hoop. Well, after getting knocked around quite a bit by boys (most, several years older than myself) I soon gave up. So, seven years ago my mother bought me a basketball for my birthday, at my request. I don't know what she thought of it but she didn't hesitate and it's been my morning routine ever since. One specific thing happened that I didn't realize until I saw a photo of myself. As a matter of fact, it's the photo alongside the header of this blog. My arms suddenly had tone and definition and had slimmed down considerably. This, after I had tried everything I could think of to get the heaviness out of my arms. My workouts had consisted of hand weight lifting involving some exercises I had found in a magazine. Nothing much changed. I added weights to my wrists when I worked out until it felt like my hands were going to fall off. Still nothing. The only thing that worked was baskets and it turns out to be a thousand more times pleasant to do than anything else I'd tried.

     This routine has not been without its trials and tribulations. I've had men come by and insist that they're going to show me how to throw the basketball right. ( While they miss basket after basket, LOL!) Then, there are the kids. They instantly believe that I owe them a chance to try out my ball and generally come close to throwing it in the lake. One old woman's dog tried to gnaw holes in my ball while she laughed at his antics. Needless to say, the dog almost ended up in the lake instead of my ball. I could go on and on but you get the idea. Most people would have given up on doing this with all the adversity encountered. I am so glad I have stuck to my guns and kept bouncing my ball up the street. However, you must connect with the ball. You must become one with the ball. Try using it as a pillow at night.

     Now, I know what you're going to say. Why didn't you make it into the WNBA if you're so good at this- but if you just read the above you'll have to understand that the WNBA didn't exist when I started playing originally and gave up too soon if the truth be spoken. The confidence I have gained from doing this everyday is tremendous. I may look like Phyllis Diller out there for all I know but I feel like Wonder Woman. It's all worth it even if it never puts a dime in my pocket. However, I wouldn't mind getting into some kind of tourney like the one above. Hello ! ! Ka-ching !

     In closing, I highly recommend this for women especially because our upper arms rarely get the kind of exercise that shooting baskets afford. You could try knocking things off of high shelves and trying to catch them but I think that's a whole lot more dangerous and possibly stupid. You might risk looking stupid while you're doing baskets but if you go early no one will know or see and the results will have you not caring how you looked while you were getting there. Grace comes with it eventually, believe me. One day a teen-age boy stopped me and told me it looked like I was dancing from a block away. What do you think of that ?

Two out of three- average,

The Castle Lady 

Playoff Muse

Last Saturday I watched the second game of the NBA Playoffs with the Knicks vs Pacers and was amazed that so many former Nuggets players- including Melo the Man himself - were doing so poorly offensively. That was a shock to me because with these guys, defense was usually the struggle and certainly not offense. In the mean time, the Indiana Pacers were rebounding and making baskets like crazy. The Knicks trailed by at least 11 points through the entire game. I've been reading the stats pretty closely this year and the Pacers record caught my eye. I don't ever remember such a great win record when it comes to the Pacers so you can imagine how surprised I was to see it. Well, for the first time on Saturday I got to see with my own two eyes what is going on with them and it's a fabulous and fantastic reversal to their past decade. Even Hansbrough was showing maniacal defense strategies and I'm wondering what has gotten into all of them !

     As you can see here they repeated the deed on Tuesday again!

I won't say I'm not disappointed that the Nuggets made it to the Playoffs again this year only to be defeated for the championships so early. How could I help but be disappointed? This has been happening year after year no matter who is on that roster and how well they have or haven't been playing during the season. Nor do I think Coach Karl is the problem as the sports journalists love to point out each year. His record is impeccable. It's the players- face it. Do they get Playoff nerves or just clam up when they know what's at stake? Maybe they have fear of success issues. If that's the problem I wish they'd get over it. Maybe they need to go to the Knicks/Pacers Playoffs and start taking notes.

Seeing Birdman a part of the Heat makes it all worth it, though...

Hail King James,

The Castle Lady