Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Drew We Knew

      Of all the actresses I have watched in the movies and TV through the years I think Drew may be the only one I truly relate to on several points. Her struggle with overcoming addiction, however, is one I can't relate to but I can definitely sympathize with and applaud her ability to overcome a generational problem in her family. This is a very difficult task and I commend her on all that she has accomplished in that area of her life.
     When I read articles where she is being interviewed I often find myself nodding because we seem to think alike. I browsed through the book she came out with years ago which recounted her struggles with addiction and her family problems. This woman of thirty-five was drinking at nine years of age, smoking marijuana at ten and by the time she was fourteen had moved onto cocaine because she moved with a crowd way beyond her years. By the time she was making the movie See You in the Morning at thirteen she had already been in and out of rehabs. The book came out in 1990- the year I started my first nail salon and I made a beeline for the book because I just couldn't understand why she would follow in the footsteps of her grandfather concerning addiction. Instead of learning from his mistakes it appeared she had fallen into every hole which he had inadvertently dug for her.
     Everyone struggling with addiction who is ready to do something about the problem should read her book. It was written semi-journal style but is an expose on how addicts are born and not just made. The making is in the codependency of those around them and they also have to undergo treatment in order to learn how to help their loved ones recover with success. Drew's last sentence in the book continues to resound in my brain.
     " All I can do is the best I can."
     Nowadays she is giving out interviews where she describes herself as...
     "I am just a big walking question mark with an open heart."
     This is really not surprising given the fact that she has been sober and in control for double the time that she spent her life trying to sort out the good and the bad of being a Hollywood actress a bit too early in life and trying to find a reasonable existence in the middle of what can be confusing circumstances. A USA Weekend interview she gave out at the end of summer shows me that she has been through a lot of relationships during her life of sobriety which may be a result of the rocky upbringing. In her book she talked a lot about difficulty in dealing with her mother and in this most recent interview she still says there is a problem.
     "We just hit our bumps along the way. It's not an easy relationship. I'd say it is still a work in progress."
      This is a key issue in her life and I feel the same has been in mine. I have never tried to work out such things as she has had to because there were no underlying problems for me but I can certainly relate to having to work at relationships- even close ones. When she was still struggling with the addiction problems she spoke of resenting being patronized and felt misunderstood. Anyone who has had autonomy such as Drew so early in life is bound to feel that way. I have felt that way most of my life because being in control was an important aspect of living. Had my early life been a little more tranquil it's possible I would not be quite so fiercely independent but I feel it has been an asset in my life regardless of my singleness. I have never truly felt lonely and I need a lot of space.
     Apparently, Drew also feels this way because she's currently talking about a new relationship with her Going the Distance co-star, Justin Long, and having children without the benefit of marriage. Apparently her mother being a single parent gives her confidence in the area with a little uncertainty but I believe if anyone can pull off such a daring prospect given the circumstances created by her mother I have every reason to believe she could do it. Maybe I could, too. Like Drew, I have never felt the need to strive with the status quo. I enjoy being in my skin and being free and especially feeling free even when you can't. Reading about Drew's current life has made me also think about what the next half of my life will be and what's is around the corner. 
     "I'm trying to figure out what the second half of my life is going to be," Drew confides to Mary Murphy, a reporter for USA Weekend.
     Touché Drew. I am, also but I've got a good plan and I'm prepared to continue working it. If you give yourself a chance it might surprise you what you can do all on your own. It's always best, though, to travel in pairs.
The Castle Lady
with a pair of kisses !    

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