Wednesday, July 02, 2008

ne vile velis

     Well, here we are smack dab in the middle of summer and once again I'm backlogged in so many simultaneous projects I don't know quite what to get at first! When I have to quit at night to sleep, I'm faced with where to start back up again the next morning. This is all amid the daily work a summer household requires- including my personal care- and fitting in work that I'm paid to do, presently.
     In short my life has become one long rollercoaster ride of trying to accomplish the impossible by myself, get it sold and get to the bank before it closes. This aspect of my life has become a wild-goose chase which only saps my energy and then disorients me to the work that I started prior to the "emergency interruption" which is important but certainly not important to my work. If I am competing with anybody it is only myself and I can't tell which part of me is losing. Maybe the exhausted "me" at the end of the day loses. 
     If any young women out there think life is smooth sailing once you've achieved a certain level of success, I want you to know right now that life won't get any easier- it will become more difficult, complicated and time-consuming. Money has nothing to do with ease but simplifying your life is a given. That requires ending the competition with the Joneses and learning to prioritize your life to match your true (and most selfless) goals along with some selfish reasons as well!
     My title literally is Latin for "form no vile wish" but is better put as "refrain from evil desires". Since many people seem more motivated by greed and competitiveness in the 21st century than ever before this is a wonderful credo to live by more than any other. I am thinking of my great grandparents (none of whom I ever met but have heard many stories about !) as I write those words. That credo taken into practice is a positive aspect of democracy and free enterprise. It also happens to be a better way to live.
     Trying to match someone's lifestyle has never been an aspiration for me nor does trying to look good, drive a better car or outdo my so-called peers in any aspect. I'm more concerned with my inner person and how she's doing. Even when I am at my most stressed I think of ways to ease up on myself but I wasn't always this way. I had to teach myself to pace my day on any given weekday and learn to be content with my best efforts. That's a real test for a perfectionist like myself. Maybe I don't compare myself to others but it is disheartening to see someone make gains at my expense when they don't share my integrity, work ethic or sense of excellence. 
     ne vile velis is more about making sure that you are the right person not whether you're better than someone else. It is about keeping your desires in line with a God who watches to see if you will do the right thing when put to a test of nerves, will or strength.
With strong kisses, The Castle Lady !
So much is a man worth as he esteems himself.- F. Rabelais

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