How to fall through the cracks....

     All through April I contemplated the so-called platitude haste makes waste with serious thought and with the classes I've been attending- perfect attendance, I would add- in mind. If I were to rephrase this too often quoted fragmented sentence it would be something like this:

     "There is nothing quite so vulgar as those who execute everything in a rushed or hurried manner. Manners require patience and time sufficient to make yourself understood or do anything well. The vulgarity of haste is a special rudeness which leaves no room for reciprocation- affirmative or rebuttal- to the executor of such handling. Therefore, if the recipient is left with no recourse than to see the backside of their slapdash non-companion whisking themselves away they are free to take the trashed material directly to the trash can from whence it came. It is now where it belongs."

     When examined in this way, it appears to be a harsh way of life. More recently I've come to realize that I don't want haste to be a part of my way of life. It's not a worthy life for me considering my dedication to excellence and making my output to be one of true quality. Attempt to put this idea across to the average cashier in a check-out section of a store these days and you'll get a blank stare, a bag shoved in your face and your change spilled on the floor. Does anybody like that ? How about people who are in such a hurry to get somewhere in their car that they ignore traffic signs, lights and pedestrians to the point of danger?

     If I refuse to work or do anything in a slapdash manner then it only makes perfect sense that I could not and would not learn anything that way nor would I choose to do so. Even if I learned quickly I would pace myself according to my known abilities. If I compare my most recent educational experience to my first career choice education at Emily Griffith Opportunity School I would have every reason to expect that I could learn the material offered in the amount of time prorated for a Graphic Arts degree in two years. It certainly looked feasible to me when I signed on for the program.

     My second thoughts at this juncture, considering the outcome of this past module are in agreement on one sole premise. Despite my great potential, earnest work and perfect attendance, this last month has been an abysmal failure. One, because there was much to learn (for several reasons I will discuss further) and two, there just wasn't sufficient time in my estimation.

     In the Monday and Wednesday classes I was fully engaged with all the coursework- in class, online and homework- and most of the paperwork is in my possession and voluminous. However, a misunderstanding on two key projects has apparently derailed the entire effort, according to Mr. Harris, and a recent horrific event in my neighborhood made it impossible for me to rectify these at the end. I don't understand why my final mark rested on one or two projects when I had done so well through most of the class sessions. I know I did well on the Final Exam. The premise made no sense to me at all. 

     Tuesdays and Thursdays in my Design 103 class were stunted by the absence of the right computer for my first class which was rectified by the second class but immediately set me behind. I struggled all the way through the course because I was trying to familiarize myself with a MAC PRO laptop computer and learning brand new software along with classroom instruction which often took on the form of intervention rather than hands-on for the student (myself) and strictly verbal instruction from the professor when I needed more one-on-one. I'm not criticizing the instructor, merely mentioning that it didn't work in my case. I'm a tactile learner and worker so this shouldn't have been difficult and I did learn a lot of new material and methods in that class- it just wasn't quick enough- my fault, I suppose- or a sufficient amount of material to pass. I should have received and been familiarized well with the MAC itself prior to this class. It wouldn't have been such a struggle otherwise. I believe the instructor was well aware of this even though he may not acknowledge that fact. He assumes everyone can keep pace with him but that would be impossible since he is prodigious in his craft and skill. That is admirable but not exactly conducive to learning in my case. I learn more through observation and tactile use in most cases but this instructor should be nicknamed Roadrunner.

     In both classes I witnessed more than two people receive perfect attendance awards who I knew to have missed at least four classes, consecutively and non-consecutively. I know this because my attendance was 100% from the very first days of the module. Incidentally, I have not received a single such award, in these modules or the first, which was Psych 101 in which I received a 95% and had perfect attendance. I did not know they gave out such awards but they are obviously some kind of a joke.

     During my second module I woke up with a head cold on the second day of my Computer Fundamentals class and I was out for three consecutive classes for that course and English 101. I was told to drop English 101 and found out later that the instructor failed me in the course when she should have just sent in an incomplete. I attended the first class only. I switched over to night classes after that but for some unknown reason my name has not shown up on any roll roster from the time of the change and I had to be written in instead. Perhaps that created some confusion for the schedule coordinator but it's inexcusable, nonetheless.

     I started to think back to my initial appointment to meet with a CollegeAmerica rep and financial advisor. I was informed then that these were fast-track online courses and it's true that I agreed that it was possible for me but I have found circumstances, of any kind, make keeping up impossible. I have made those circumstances clear but I still don't know if anyone concerned really understands what happened. Who would've known I'd get sick and miss classes? I certainly didn't because I almost never get sick.

     At the end of this last module I felt very discouraged when I was shown my percentage in Design 103 and with good reason since it is certainly the most important reason why I have been attending classes in Graphic Arts. The GE courses were way beneath my abilities. Actual college English courses would've been infinitely more interesting and engaging for me than Psychology of Motivation and Interpersonal Communication. Not a bit of it was anything I didn't already know from being strong in the workforce from 1977 up to the present and my independent studies I have kept engaged in all my life. I'm basically a closet nerd. I have been a licensed professional manicurist/nail tech all that time and a store-front salon owner to boot for seven years within that time period. I attended college through the 80s in music performance specializing in flute and became a published poet in 1988 and a published in print author in 2006 with my historical book Robinson and Crawford County. Numerous articles of mine have been published on the internet by various web site owners besides writing and building my own web site www.ilovecastles.com on the topic of European castles. I have traveled extensively abroad and speak several languages fluently. I consider myself to be a linguist as I can recognize most languages on sight. Learning is not a difficulty for me at all.

     However, I do believe that the college I have been attending isn't right for me at this stage of my life even though I consider myself to be a super-learner. I feel it isn't a good fit because I am just that and it's highly misunderstood to say it nicely. I have a tendency to finish reading textbooks in a single session because I am compelled to do so and much repeated the material become stale quickly for me, particularly if it is poorly written. I rephrase much of it for myself and go deeper into further research. I believe I do this because I don't feel I really know material until it's as familiar and under my feet as an old song. I have more confidence in myself when I do this and have perfected it in more recent years.

     My methodology is now rooted in the independent research I've been doing for six years so I cannot see myself working (or learning) in any other manner. Going through material just to put a permanent label on something is too foreign for me and strips away the pride I have in the work I do. Graphic Arts and art in general is second nature to me and I've been out there for a long time at various mediums in my arts and crafts. I'm more familiar with studying intensely which requires time to be done right and well. Learning this way is intrinsic to my very being. I wish all other students well and hope this does not discourage anyone. I just happen to be different and I won't give up until I find the right fit for my mode of learning to acquire the knowledge I need.      

 

 

Evelyn Wallace

The Castle Lady

Social Networking and Me

     About eleven years ago I remember my first internet days as full of awe. My first search was simply the word castle and they continue to be a fascination for me that I'm certain will never die. How do I know that's true? Well, I have been researching and reading about castles for years- a long time before the internet ever came to be as popular as it is today. I have books on castles that I bought and have perused from the time I was a teenager. Through the years I spent any extra money I had on books- not just on castles but they have been a particular obsession of mine. My free-time preoccupation piqued with my dream trip in 2001 to see a portion of the castles I read about and fawned over in large photographic tomes.

     As a result, I may not appear to be a very sociable person most of the time except in more recent years, of course. Don't get me wrong. I feel very comfortable meeting people in all walks of life whether they are in cultural functions or stimulating situations and events. It helps when people are of the curious type such as myself. Since 1977, the largest part of my days were spent talking with and working out myriad problems with mostly females of all ages, professions and backgrounds. I learned a lot, during the heyday of my manicuring profession, about women that may have remained a mystery to me for the entirety of my existence. Just being a woman doesn't prepare you for the things you learn from women but it certainly helps, all in all. Sisterhood wins out in a way brotherhood could never measure up. That being said, people are just as important to me as my interests but it always helps if we forage new grounds together.

     This brings me to my subject of internet social networking of which I've only dabbled with during my time online. I've tried some traditional and not so traditional forums but to me they are very alike in that there is a division between those who are looking for a mate and those who truly want to engage in socializing on a somewhat less personal level. My forte is the latter rather than the former and is one of the reasons that I have never delved much deeper than my blog, e-mail and occasional IMing. You won't find me on Facebook for a very good reason, in other words, not neglect. I've used MSN Messenger for IMing which I still prefer to tweeting (I'm not on Twitter), and LinkedIn has become a necessity because of my ambitions and the fact that it is a superior forum for serious professionals.

     Facebook is self-described as being a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them. This service is meant to help people keep up with friends, upload an unlimited number of photos, post links and videos and learn....etc. What concerns me the most is that through MSN Messenger and their Live Spaces (which started out as MSN Spaces- blogs, basically) and their unique way of connecting people, Facebook has taken its place and offered none of what the internet truly has to offer. That would be the world itself, in all its splendor. My opinion is that Facebook and copycat forums do nothing more than sport the superficialities of people and don't offer their adherents a chance to explore anything else. Actual web sites offer a lot more than Facebook ever will and there is more to be said about exchanging e-mails with someone half-way across the world that you genuinely like than a person with an enticing photo who, in reality, would probably pass on the other side of the street if you'd been beaten and robbed and don't look anything like their photo, in reality, to boot.

     To me, the internet connected me with a world I ordinarily would have to get in a plane and gallivant all over the globe to find and chat with and if I'm wrong someone show me clear evidence to support otherwise. It is not a place to reinvent yourself because that's just conceit. Perhaps it is a place to make your dreams come true. I have no problem with that because it's what I'm basically doing and enjoying immensely.  

When dreams die life is a barren field covered with snow... -Langston Hughes

The Castle Lady

A time to be silent....

     The most invisible aspect of this world is the mind of a person- until they open their mouth.
-The Castle Lady

     For those of you who might be unaware of why you haven't been seeing a lot of output from me this year, thus far, I wanted to tell you all about what is happening right now and give you a possible idea of what to expect in the near future. Beginning in February of this year I re-entered the world of career college for the third time in my life and by the mid-point of 2013 will have a degree in Graphic Arts if everything goes as planned. It's been a long period of time between my last class at a city college university and this year so it's probably not necessary for me to go on about the difficulty of having my daily routine thrown to the wind or getting back into a modus operandi of absorbing knowledge quickly rather than at my own pace which varies. Perhaps my memories of those days are a bit nostalgic- in the best sense of the word. Learning is a manifold process but I've discovered that I have become very set in my ways of my mode of learning as opposed to the fast track way in which higher education school systems choose to teach and that is all-inclusive of any age, gender or cultural heritage.

     Libraries now regularly have noisy interactive sessions for pre-school age children that send serious scholars scampering away from libraries in droves. Allowance of cell phone usage, video game interaction on the available computers and a general non-enforcement of the age-old quiet rule seems to be prevalent- to my chagrin. I know I'm not alone in being perturbed but no one else seems to be willing to speak up. Noise tolerance is becoming a real chore and disturbance and distraction is no longer confined to libraries but any place where silence is generally preferred over noise. Whatever may be said about interactive learning I cannot believe that anyone can learn anything by talking over the instruction. I don't know who originally quoted this but it bears repeating: No one ever learned anything without spending at least one half of their time listening.

     My first course back in February was Psych 101 and I was very interested in taking this as a first course because it happened to be my favorite in high school. I figured that it would be a great refresher course and perhaps I would learn something new along the way since I hadn't taken any Psychology courses in college. As it turned out I had taken on most of the information independently through the years according to my own interests. Left brain/Right brain theories were explored and some of the information resembled Earl Nightingale pep-talk courses I have perused through audiobooks over the years. Some information was new to me but most of it was knowledge I had already acquired through self-study. A revelation to me as I looked around the classroom were the number of female students who wanted to talk about anything else but the course materials and primarily themselves while the minutes and hours ticked away. Instead of listening to the professor (which was delivered by him in a very engaging and contemporary style, I must add) we were often just sitting around listening to someone's hard luck story instead of the subject matter. I pored over the book at night in my free time and was pleasantly surprised. However, to be honest, I certainly didn't sign on to listen to cult of personality mishmash and I'm certain no one else did either.

     Nothing much was said by the prof throughout that four week course until the last week and by then it was rather late in the day to say anything about how disrespectful this bunch of magpies really were. I kept hearing him tell them how smart they all were while key people either floundered or just tried to muddy on by themselves in the proverbial quiet desperation most people endure in such situations. It didn't phase me because I had already explored all those ideas and I'm a writer. It was easy for me to do most of the work in my free time while the classroom magpies carried on. I'm not surprised that my fellow group research buddies dumped the project on me because getting anything accomplished in that environment was next to impossible. It wasn't without resentment that I handed in the paper with my name and two other persons who did none of the actual research, typing the paper to format or any of the actual writing work at all. Overall I'd have to say I really need to get more assertive about delegating chores to people. I'll have to do it someday so I probably should start pulling my mitts on now.

     Perhaps I should tell you that my writing will be a little less than my usual prolific output but I don't want to mislead you in any way. I may start actually writing something on this particular blog every day, in fact. Just don't make any bets concerning the near future- in speaking or writing I make it count or I don't say anything at all.

The Castle Lady

with affection of a quality that has no fear of time !

        

     

Thoughts on A Stolen Life

      I am often tempted to simply write reviews on books I read. You won't see those here but I have quite a few on my WordPress blog. You may check them out here:  http://thecastlelady.wordpress.com and look for the category on books. Jaycee Dugard's book, A Stolen Life, caught my eye last summer when I was shopping at Sam's Club and I decided that it would be worthwhile to read. While it may not be a high literary work it certainly left a good impression on me not only for its lucidity but also for the wise content which made me feel a whole lot better about the outcome of her entire story. To be more apt it would've sufficed to title the book A Stolen Time. Her book showed me that she came out of the ordeal with her head still screwed on straight and her gentle character intact.

     The proceeds from the book were stipulated by Jaycee to go to a special foundation she started (JAYC Foundation) to make sure that those who received animal-assisted therapy and support and services for families recovering from abductions and traumatic experiences will have the funds they need and to take a program into the schools creating awareness of caring about people. JAYC stands for her motto which is Just Ask Yourself to ...Care !

      What I found particularly illuminating about Jaycee's account is that it was written in her own words as a part of her recuperation therapy and many of the chapters have reflections at the end about what she was currently experiencing while writing it. Those reflections give a true insight into what it is like to be a kidnapped prisoner and how humans cope under those circumstances. As I read it I realized that Jaycee is an exceptional person in her feelings, emotions and empathies. Many people won't understand her motivations but they will get a glimpse of how people survive well under the most dire circumstances.

     The following excerpts are either those which I thought were particularly wise or give an insight into the honest nature of all the people involved in what happened to her. If you are unfamiliar with the details of what happened to Jaycee her book is more than sufficiently supplied and contains only truths. I only found one discrepancy in the book and it didn't involve her circumstances- only a dream memory which was unrelated to her immediate situation.

     Briefly, before summer of 1991, Jaycee was abducted by a married man and woman, Phillip and Nancy Garrido, on her way to school. (Phillip was a paroled sex offender who was kept under psychiatric watch and care and regularly visited by parole officers.) They tasered this eleven year old girl, took her to their home where he stripped and humiliated her immediately, locked her in a shack in his backyard and repeatedly raped her for an unknown amount of successive days. This ordeal continued for eighteen years in which she gave birth to two daughters (the first at age 14, the second at 17) and was shuttled back and forth between two shack compounds under lock and key until they actually allowed her a beach outing, a nail salon visit (ironically, enough) and shopping at Walmart in 1998. It wasn't without close surveillance and by that time the psychological games played on her had made her fearful of trying to get away from them.    

   From the beginning of the Introduction:

          ...Philip Garrido believes no one should find out what he did to an eleven year old girl...me. He also believes he is not responsible for his actions. I believe differently.

     From a clandestine journal she started keeping in 1998 after seven years of captivity:

          I don't know how I would react to a man touching me after what I have been through....Not that I would know what that is like...I don't think the kind of love I dream about is real.    

     From journal entry dated January 31, 2003:

          I can't stop myself from imagining me just taking the girls and getting in the car, starting it and leaving this horrible place forever....I don't even know how to drive, but I can still see myself doing it just to get away.

     " " " " February 22, 2003:

           I don't think I could survive by myself outside of these walls...Why do I have to miss her [my mom] so much? She hasn't been a part of my life in so long. I don't even remember what she looks like.... Sometimes I dream about her. They are fuzzy, hazy dreams...My last memory is of her forgetting to kiss me good-bye that morning.

     " " " " May 3, 2003:

          I feel sometimes like I'm still the same age as when IT (the first rape) happened. I hate this feeling. I want to grow up. But how do I do that here?...Being here has changed me.

     " " " " June 6, 2003

          Reading is an escape for me. I ask myself, what am I escaping from? I don't know, I just...maybe I am escaping myself. I'm not happy or comfortable with myself. When I'm reading I can lose myself, maybe even become like the beautiful women I read about. Strong, independent women that do things by themselves. I should be taking control of my body and getting strong and healthy; I put on so much weight from the babies, my body has changed so much. I just can't seem to get motivated. Nancy is always bringing in so much candy... Maybe one day when I'm finally ready to take control of myself I will.

     " " " " September 2, 2003

          I don't understand why I'm not happy. ....I mean I should be happy.... I just feel angry that I will never see my friend again [Jessie] or my real family.

     " " " " October 12, 2003

          I guess I have turned a switch off inside of me. In the beginning I did it to survive. Now it's just a habit....I've done enough crying for two lifetimes.

     " " " " December 18, 2003

          On a promo for the news tonight the press is speculating that the man that killed Polly Klass also took and killed me. It is so hard to express the feelings I'm feeling. They showed a brief picture of me and then the killer. That was so painful to watch.

     " " " " June 27, 2004

          Lonely, that's how I feel. Lonely and incomplete. I want to run but have no idea where to run to. I want to yell, but I don't want to hurt anybody. I want to say something, but I don't know what to say. Love is the easy part: it's the living without the love you need that is hard. ...Did I have a choice that day? Could I have chosen to stay home from school? I would have been punished, but my life would not have changed so completely as it did. Would I choose to be here even with everything that's happened?

     " " " " September 4, 2004

          ...But he [Phillip Garrido] will never take responsibility for what he does. It's always someone else's fault...

     " " " " Sept 21, 2006

          All Phillip and Nancy do is sleep all day...Phillip hears voices...I work all day and they sleep...Maybe he will get the help he needs now from the psychiatrist.

     From the concluding chapter, Firsts for Me:

          I've learned that verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse and take longer to heal from. But I'm doing that as well. I'm healing from the physical and verbal abuse I endured for so long.

     On August 26, 2009 after Garrido was arrested for parole violation he took his wife, two daughters and Jaycee with him for his return to the parole office. In Jaycee's own writing the only reason why he so easily gave himself up in this way was because, "Nobody remembered me. I know it only fed Phillip's delusions that he was somehow above the law." However, that day Jaycee was taken aside, questioned several times by different people and finally could only write the name she was born with because she had become unable to say her real name. Writing her name finally freed her and her two children from the psychologically manipulative Garrido grip that came close to destroying her and she has been rehabilitating since that time.

     I applaud the bravery of this young woman who could have easily just quietly slipped out of the spotlight and tried to heal alone. Her sensitivity not just to animals but all living beings impressed me beyond any words I can write in description and I'm so glad she wrote this account no matter how painful it must have been to write it. In closing this entry I would like to tell her personally that her life has only started. It begins now. Don't wait for the world to recognize the greatness inside you. Let your light shine and let people know how you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you give the world your version of yourself. God bless and keep you for the rest of your many days to come ! 

    

All quotes in black are directly from the book, A Stolen Life

by Jaycee Dugard

© 2011 by Luna Lee, Inc.

Text in pink, All Rights Reserved by Evelyn M. Wallace

February 2, 2012 

 from Evelyn WallaceThe Castle Lady

On Texting and Driving...

     I found this in the newspaper today and thought I'd share. Apparently, this item was sent in by a reader who spotted a sign on the lawn of a Lutheran church in southeast Denver:

     Honk if you love Jesus.

Text as you are driving and you may see him soon. 

 
The Castle Lady

The Sign of Our Days

     One of my favorite authors is Debbie Macomber who I began reading on occasion during my first year working as a nail technician many years ago. The salon where I worked had a full library of paperback novels and I usually read one or two books a week on my hour-long lunch breaks. I discovered her among the romance novelists and she was different in her approach to the point of total discretion but they really were romantic with some realism thrown in for good measure. After I would read her novels I'd often feel as though I could have the same happily married ending. While I may still be waiting on that- no laughing please !- when I took up reading more of her books within the last decade she had become a very well-rounded author by touching on new subjects and various series which appealed to a wider audience. This year she has come out with a book, which is titled One Perfect Word, that I am keenly interested in reading. It is a non-fiction inspirational book focused on a very interesting premise. The following is her own description of it:

      "For almost twenty years now I've chosen a word to focus on for the year. My word for 2012 came to me in October: magnify. I find it far too easy to think about problems and concerns, so I decided that instead of concentrating on those, I would turn my thoughts to God instead. I want to use the year 2012 to magnify the Lord in my life.

     Actually, I've had some pretty amazing things happen when I've concentrated on a single word for the year. In January my new non-fiction book, One Perfect Word, will be released. In this book I recount a few of the growth steps along my spiritual journey through these words. If you choose a word each year and would like to share your choice for 2012 with me, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can write me via my Guestbook."

     Interestingly enough, I have been using this particular concept on a daily basis for two decades now and have found that the Lord often supplies me with a scripture to support it. I understand Debbie's concept and I feel that her word for the year is marvelous for focusing and stabilizing for long term effect and for breaking through stubborn problems or those which are complex and difficult to solve. My plan dealt with each day-to-day challenge for coping and overcoming- for everything from rush hour traffic to dealing with homeless people. God always seemed to supply the right word or phrase and it was comforting to know that He was right by my side helping me every step of the way- every day.

     Now that I face different challenges which are more similar to Debbie's lifestyle of writing a good part of the time rather than regular workday issues I think the concept of her book might be a little closer to my current needs. All I need now is a word for this year. I believe I'm going to choose the word miracles because I could use a few this year and I'd like to step back for awhile and see what God can do. Wish me mazel tov !

Miraculously,

The Castle Lady

God's Undercover Agents

     In the Neighbor to Neighbor section of the December issue of Guideposts I spotted an article about how the Oregon freelance cameraman, Kevin Felts, was able to see abundant fruit come from a random act of kindness just last April. The coincidence of his chance meeting with the recipient, author Paul Young, was another aspect of the miracle and was the type of circumstance which the Lord loves to bring into effect. Above all the rewards which are bestowed upon us everyday, of which we may or may not be aware, seeing someone become as blessed as Paul was by Kevin's selfless act are those which bless us the most. It was a wonderful thanksgiving story which I can relate to wholeheartedly. To hear more on the story you can click here www.guideposts.org/paulyoung and do check out the actual article as well.

     Whatever you feel about this story there are many like them out there. I have a few of my own, both as a recipient and a giver. One winter, upon leaving work in a sudden blizzard, I was rescued by four football-size men in a Rambler out of a large snowdrift in which my car had become stuck. From out of nowhere, here they were! They got out of their car and started pushing mine and got my car back on the highway. My car drifted off the on ramp and I got stuck on the shoulder again. A man stopped immediately and said, "I can't get your car out of there but I can take you home." I locked up my car without stopping to question the help and he took me right to my door at home. I asked him if I could repay him and he said, "No. Just remember to help someone else like this someday." Whether these men were angels or not I cannot be certain but everyone of them were God's agents, regardless.

     Several years later when I was headed to choir practice for church I spotted a couple right on the corner of a big, busy intersection who had the hood of their car up and seemed to be at a loss. I stopped and asked them if I could help. The man said that he needed a jump for his battery and I had just bought an emergency kit for my car. Without hesitation, I went to work getting my car situated to give them a jump and handed them the kit. Their car started up and we went our separate ways without even asking names. They were very happy and so was I.

     Some years ago, after I closed my nail salon and was liquidating my salon furnishings and equipment through a garage sale, a cousin of mine came to the sale and among other items which she purchased had spotted a beautiful sofa that I had kept in top condition. She didn't have enough money to pay for it but she really wanted to have it for her basement. I told her, "Go ahead and take it and you'll pay for when you can." I knew she was good for it and good to her word. Years went by and she would mention it from time to time but I knew her and her family were in a tough financial struggle so I never made an issue of it. After ten years she hadn't paid for the item but I let it go. In my mind, I had pardoned the debt and wiped it out. I felt better for pardoning it than to continue to expect the money and I felt that in some small way I was able to help her by striking the debt. Paid in full. Over.

     Just last year she approached me with $20 and pressed it into my hand. She knew I really needed the money. She still has financial struggles so I was surprised. She said, "Remember the sofa ?" After thirteen years my memory was hazy. I had forgotten about it completely. When she gently reminded me of the debt she included, "I can pay it off now. I'll make four more payments until I've paid it off." I hugged her because it was a miraculous amount at that point. I never would have expected to be rescued by my cousin but it was a lesson to me in forgiving debts. My patience paid off in a way I never would have expected and it was a lesson to me in how to deal effectively with such situations. Looking to the Lord for our source is the only way to live this kind of life of faith and His leading. You can see how it has made a real difference in my life.

     These are all examples where the agents of God, angels or not, were those with faces (if not names) and I am glad that some of those agents are as close as my family. Kevin and Paul's eventual chance meeting may have been orchestrated by God but even if this cannot be arranged, I can tell you that there is no finer feeling than knowing that you have done right through an act of kindness- especially during this time of the year when it can make such a difference in someone's life. You may not ever know how far it goes but God's Undercover Agents act on faith and not by sight or accolades. I can vouch for the fact that just the act itself makes you feel good. Now, there's something that doesn't have to be taken to the bank or noted on a check register. Golden.

Angelically,

The Castle Lady

       

Beyond Reason

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

     Substance and evidence are the strongest words we use in the English language for the tangible properties on subjects which may be elusive of definition. If we want to solve a mystery or win a court case we must have these elements or success is uncertain. This verse in the bible stands out the most of all in its quest to define our strongest motivation for every action we put forth in life. It goes a step further than we dare go. It asks us to put away logic and forge ahead when we see nothing ahead. It urges us to seek light in the darkest shadows. It brings us to places of answers although the path was only strewn with questions.

     We often think of spiritual aspects of our lives as if it was only mist, vapor and wind. Anything which is not made of atoms- as we know them- must be relegated to the unknown, unseen and intangible. This is our world as we see it. As we read further in this chapter in Hebrews we are given examples such as Noah who was mocked while he was building the ark. Abraham wandered around with an enlarged family for many years because they were looking for a city already built, not quite understanding that they had indeed arrived and had taken possession but had not laid down the roots. Sarah conceived and bore a child when she was way past normal child bearing years and could not help but laugh when she realized what was happening. Joshua and Israel marched around the city of Jericho six times in six days and seven times on the seventh day, blowing trumpets and shofars. Along with the thirteenth encircling, they all shouted together and watched the thick curtain walls of the city literally tumble down. Without attacking this citadel to bring it down, they merely obeyed Joshua's instructions which were given to him by God. These are clear acts of biblical faith and there are many more instances, along the same lines, throughout old testament history concerning strong faith.

     No other verse in the bible is so succinct as a definition of faith because it refutes our common sensibilities and asks us to believe despite how our physical realm persuades our minds. To the natural mind of man it is easier to doubt than to have faith but we all operate with a certain level of faith or we would not get out of our beds in the morning. There is common faith spoken of in Romans 12:3 but the verse above calls us to greater faith. In its highest and truest form it builds our spiritual character in such a way that we can exceed even our own expectations of ourselves in living a victorious Godly life. One does not have to be tested to build their faith in this way. They only have to be willing to put away their worldly attitudes and motivations and step into the realm of attaining possibilities.

     Conversely, such great faith will not go untested because the natural life we live concurrently makes trials, hardships and even tragedy inevitable. A common error among the faithful is to assume that when you're suffering illness or experiencing seeming insurmountable difficulties that your faith is flagging. However, we need such strength to endure those times and eventually come through in the same way that strong faith helps us escape trouble altogether. Some may be delivered from death while others are enabled to die victoriously. After all, great faith involves a belief in a better place in the hereafter. 

     Jesus felt that even small amounts of faith were enough to move mountains ( Matthew 17:20) which alluded to endless possibilities. When faith is released into God's hands through prayer it galvanizes your faith into bonafide miracles. He becomes our source of growth and possibility because nothing is impossible to Him. Through the act of prayer and faith in those prayers our perspective becomes focused into a Godly perspective and our faith grows in proportion to that measure. The miraculous intervention itself is not the builder of faith but the prayer, which is in line with the Word of God, will build a momentous faith within yourself. Not only that, but the most wonderful payoff is that anyone who witnesses you using your faith and seeing miracles has a tremendous opportunity to live a life of faith, as well. Your children, family and co-workers will want to live a faithful life when they see it in action. Romans 10:17, James 2:17 & 18,  1 Tim 3:9 

The Castle Lady

Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see.

But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.

- Henry Cloud

    

In talking, reading and writing- do opposites attract ?

     I generally laugh at horoscopes if my eyes happen to land on them any time I'm reading the paper. The advice can often be unclear and quirky, to say the least, but yesterday I found a rare pearl in the following sentence. It is so apt and relevant to my life right now.

Someone in your daily life means well and can inspire you

but

at the same time can make goulash out of

the most precise communication and situations.

- from the Denver Post horoscope for Virgo 9/8/11

by Jacqueline Bigar

     Keeping a good attitude often involves ignoring someone else's bad attitude. If you don't believe me, try telling someone exactly what you think when they make you angry. Just remember that you alone are responsible for your words, action and character. Responding out of emotion is never exactly clear and often conveys intentions and definitions that are opposite to what you wanted to communicate. Before you say that sentence, do this: Ask yourself, "Is this true ? Is this harmless ? Is it necessary? If it isn't don't bother to say it. 
   

     Understanding people well involves more work than most of us are willing to exert. It is for this reason that I am more inclined to write my communications than say them verbally. I have found that unless the distractions around me are deafening, no one can mess up a clearly written and ruminated sentence. Through my writing I can convey my intentions much more clearly than when someone is forced to actually listen well to what I am saying. If someone misses the details from my writing it becomes their own problem rather than a failure on my part. This is what it means to be a good writer. An excellent writer is a diplomat and is well on his way to mastering his thought life.

Just The Castle Lady...

reading you loud and clear !  

Debt Deal Sounds Like Let's Make a Deal

     Have you ever watched Let's Make a Deal on TV? The show is still on the air, believe it or not, and the deals can still be quite sour if you happen to pick the wrong curtain in lieu of a few hundred dollars in cash. Something about those clunker deals reminds me of the Debt Deal which is going down in Congressional meetings these days. Their compromise is as bad as any ideas they have come up with in most recent years. In the hands of Congress they never get any better- they always get worse.    

     Are you more than a little upset about the debt deal struck by Congress? This deal calls for a Super Committee to recommend spending cuts with a ceiling in the vicinity of $1.5 trillion ! If it seems a little fishy to you it's not without good reason. I'll bet you're wondering where the cuts are going to come in and who they're going to affect. Thanks to our Presidents input and compassion (among other politicians and advocates for saving Social Security) the elderly beneficiaries will continue to get their checks at least until the end of this year. Thanks to those who care about the elderly in this country who live from one social security check to the next we are only reassured for a limited time and the spending cuts loom in the minds of those who haven't any other source of income.

     All the faces you see above are what Congress is calling a Super Committee and they're out to reform Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid in ways that are totally unacceptable for anyone who has to live off the money they paid into Social Security alone. These short term cuts could be devastating. Believe me when I say that no one could possibly ever get rich by having to live on Social Security and those senior citizens who shrug it off never had to worry about actually having to live only on these entitlement payments.

     The truth is that Super Committee has only one agenda. They want to plunder the funds which remain in Social Security to cover a debt they incurred and we are not responsible for- and we never were. Social Security is a wonderful program that was instituted by FDR- the greatest President we ever had- and is being attacked by the very politicos that didn't want the program instituted at all from it's very inception. There is no other government fund gathered as taxes from the people that is more efficiently run than the United States Social Security Administration and I would challenge those people who want to take an axe to it to prove that the problem is not a problem at all but a large sum of money they want to practically rob from us.

     This Super Committee's ideas are to raise the retirement age, slash benefits to new lows or completely destroy the program by privatizing it. I'm sure you won't mind having to work at your backbreaking job until you have to do it on crutches, start eating Alpo and Mighty Dog instead of Hamburger Helper or trying to figure out how to get a stockbroker to make $5 out of 2 pennies for you, will you ? All kidding aside, it is time to tell the congressional looters of our government mad money to keep their filthy hands off the only back up we have when this economy finally tanks. If you don't believe me, take a look at what is actually in that fund and tell me they're allowed to take anything out of it at all. They stole our payroll tax surplus to the tune of $2.6 trillion and left a bunch of IOUs in its place. Does it sound like they have your best interests at heart?

     My suggestion is this: if you're smart enough to be outraged, call someone on the committee- or everyone of them if you have the time- and tell them to fix it this way:

     "Admit that you have stolen money from the people to pay off debts they never agreed to pay, restore the system's backup for fiscal soundness by locking the trust fund amount, fully apply the payroll tax on your rich buddies and make the increase in payments like it was promised to us when you started applying the increase in 1984. It sure as heck wasn't so you can go flying around in jets everywhere."

The Castle Lady

laughing with and not at you !