Can You Save Someone from Dying of Anorexia ?

I saw a headline at the beginning of this year that got my attention because it involved the death of a young woman who shouldn't have died so young. There was nothing wrong with her physically that couldn't have been corrected if she had received proper treatment early. She was not attacked, murdered or in an accident. She died because she starved herself to death believing she was overweight.

*

Her name was Isabelle Caro and she was a French fashion model. She had suffered from anorexia nervosa from the age of 13 and was never told that she was killing herself. Instead, her employers encouraged her to continue to starve herself under the supposition that she may not be able to wear clothes or look good in them unless she kept her weight low. At the time of her death, she was 28 years old, weighing only 29 kilos, which is about 64 lbs. For a model, she was short- only 5'4". Before she died she started a campaign in 2007 in Europe, putting billboards up where major fashion shows were taking place, addressing the problem of anorexia and shocked the fashion world with her bold statement by showing her emaciated body and gaunt face.

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While fashion and print modeling may be the strongest encouragement for someone with Caro's inherent problem there is a bigger concern staring society in the face which could become bigger with time if we don't all stop and look around us. While America may have a large percentage of people who are overweight and battling serious illnesses because of it there is a strong percentage of men, women and children like Caro who are silently killing themselves and no one will come forward and tell them they need help. It's an insidious disease because it's so difficult a subject to broach in public or in private. However, no one should sit idly by and watch someone they love slowly but surely starve themselves to death. Anyone who lives with someone with anorexia nervosa has an obligation, through love, to tell that person they need to get help and then make sure they get that help.

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I consider myself a person who survived anorexia nervosa. I didn't do it alone even though I was so young that no one recognized the problem except one person. My mother noticed. She tried to encourage me to eat. She pulled me out of dance classes because she thought I was getting dangerously thin. She took photographs of me and showed me them. I thought I looked fat in the pictures even though I was one of the original lollipop girls. (I can look at those photos now and see what I couldn't at the time.) One day I remember my mother holding out a cookie in front of me and begging me to eat it. Something changed in that moment.

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At the moment I heard my mother imploring me to eat something I realized it was just my desire to control something in my life. I felt powerless in every other aspect of my day to day life, so refusing to eat was my chance to take power back. I believe it is the same for all who suffer from anorexia. The power is an illusion aided by this feeling of euphoria which cannot be explained. Dopamine levels in the blood can become high so instead of eating they run or workout like a maniac just to feel like they can cope with life. Their bodies stop telling them it's hungry. They don't know they're hungry and they have a distorted view of what they look like. If you want to save someone from dying of anorexia tell them they are too thin and if they don't eat they are going to die. If you love them you'll do it.

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Bon Courage,

The Castle Lady

This is the 100th entry on this blog.

My secret blog...

Yes. I've been holding out a little. This is my Rock Blog for those of you who haven't been following real close. It's my rock-n-roll side so be ready for a different way of me looking at the world. The music world that is...

check me out at: http://evelynsrockpages.blogspot.com/

The Castle Lady rocks your world

with kisses !

The 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day ! ! March 8th

For those of you who have never heard of this international holiday which supports the independence, fortitude and ingenuity of women I wanted to supply a little bit of information. It is well worth supporting. In some of the 176 countries which recognize this day many activities are very supportive of women's causes. One organization which supports it is online at www.internationalwomensday.org and you can find out more about it wherever you are at on this big blue marble we call earth.
March 8th is the day to mark on your calendar and possibly get involved in one or several activities. Those who live in the New York City area can attend the celebration at the Ramada Plaza New Yorker Hotel. There will be all manner of authors, journalists, artists and female entrepreneurs who will speak, teach and give all types of support for women's issues, rights and general support to the cause. www.wishsummit.com
Finding online celebrations and information will be easy this year so go type in International Women's Day into your browser and go on a search. You're sure to find an activity just right for you.

With lots of support and care,

The Castle Lady

Boy Wrestles Girl ?

     Did any of my readers see the recent story on TV news about the two teenagers of the opposite sex who were scheduled to wrestle in the first round of the Iowa state high school wrestling tournament? The 16-year-old boy, Joel Northrup, and a 14-year-old girl named Cassy Herkleman were set up to a match and the boy refused the match, walked off the mat and had to forfeit to her, losing his chance at a state title. It looked like a case of a win/win for feminists and non-feminists alike but if you look a little closer this is really becoming much more than a battle of the sexes. It seems to be a battle of keeping to your convictions and faith and being penalized for it.

     A popular ESPN columnist, Rick Reilly, jumped on the story and I guess it quickly became national news. Joel, who is home-schooled, is also a pastor's son. His father, Jamie, was quoted as saying, "We believe in the elevation and respect of women, and we don't think that wrestling a woman is the right thing to do. Body slamming and takedowns -- full contact sport is not how to do that," when he was questioned by the Des Moines Register about his son's decision.

     "As a matter of conscience and my faith," he wrote in a statement, "I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner."

     It's too bad his decision was not recognized for an act of faith and that he be given another chance to compete against an opponent that he felt was a comfortable match. I think he should be rewarded for and commended for his ethics. How many teenagers make a stand for anything these days? If it happens we don't hear about it often enough. We'll hear about all the trouble they can and do get into but how often is it the other way around and made into national news?

     Unfortunately, Rick Reilly decided to humiliate Joel by saying he was wrong to refuse the match and wrote that,

          "If the Northrups really wanted to respect women, they should've encouraged their son to face her."

     Perhaps it never occurred to Rick Reilly that they were encouraging their son to think for himself and provided him with the best ideas of character for a man. That is especially true in these times when domestic violence is more rampant than ever and violence against women can be seen on TV sitcoms for several hours nearly every single night. There are several organizations which are gaining strength and momentum trying to help women in situations that have become life-threatening. I personally wonder how this idea that full contact sports, such as wrestling, would show any amount of respect for the person of a female.   

     That said, this story is really more about the distinctions surrounding gender than it is about these three individuals opinions– or wrestling itself. Coed sports is still largely not done especially on a professional level. The passage of mandate title IX in 1972 states that schools receiving federal funding should offer female athletes access to the same opportunities as the male athletes receive. I don't see any reason that this should be interpreted to mean that coed education should be encouraged or even made accessible. These same opportunities exist even if they are separated and it would certainly be more appropriate considering our current problems with violence and vice.

     I hope that what Joel's father had to say about his son's conviction, namely that he may not have wrestled Cassy but he did wrestle (and win) with his faith, will get more media attention than Rick Reilly's diatribe. That's a good and admirable thing and ought to be national news more often. Maybe everyone will finally understand why we keep to our convictions rather than go along with everything that is approved of by the world.

 

Keeping it light but with integrity,

 

The Castle Lady 

Nuggets News or Knicks News ? Can't Choose !

Whether I did this consciously or not- I know I predicted the change in the Nuggets line-up, which happened recently, a little more than a year ago. I spotted first round draft pick Danilo Gallinari out of a small crowd as the next wunderkind of NBA basketball. I hope I was right. He has very quickly taken Carmelo Anthony's place as Small Center. This was Melo's position through the nearly eight years which he played for the Nuggets and kept consistently high scores akin to that of Kobe Bryant and several other stars in the NBA.
Danilo was given the number 8 supposedly because they found out his birthdate, which is 8/8/88, could possibly be a lucky number. Well, I've been saying that for years even though I am no adherent to such superstitious ideas. What got my attention was his good looks and his stats which were very good for a European player. To me, basketball will always be an American sport because it was invented and perfected here. It makes sense that the best of the NBA would be here. Well, there are now quite a few Europeans proving us all wrong on that premise. I sincerely hope Danilo will be able to do just that because he's got some awesome shoes to fill and he'll have to do better than 2 points for a game. Maybe our climate is a little rough for him.

The first game without Melo is showing me that many other prodigious players are going to have to really step up their game and take themselves to the next level. On February 24th the Nuggets played the Celtics and won 89-75 which is wonderful considering that Kevin Garnett was very much in attendance. As a matter of fact Kenyon Martin, Power Forward, caused him to hit the hardwood and K-Mart (as we like to call him!) made the most points at this game at a total of 18. To exceed Melo he'll have to double that consistently with every game. He was his usual happy, mouthy self by the fourth quarter when he was fouled. To K-Mart that's money in the bank! Affalo and Chandler were right behind him in scoring but they'll have to bring their numbers up as well. With Chauncey and Carmelo gone they must do even better. Andersen aka Birdman is still day to day since that knee surgery but he'll get back to doing what he does best. Blocking slam dunks from the Big Birds ! !

http://network.yardbarker.com/nba/article_external/denver_nuggets_george_karl_prepare_for_life_after_carmelo_anthony/4227289

In other news...... The Knicks lost to the Cavs ? ?

Big kisses from

The Castle Lady !

A Proven Method for Avoiding Jet-Lag !

I have read about and tried a few methods for avoiding jet-lag which rendered mixed or bad results through many years of traveling. One exception to this roundelay of panaceas was the anti-jet-lag diet I tried before going on my European castles tour in 2001. I would remind everyone that this experience included a week delay return flight because the end of the tour nearly coincided with 9/11. The day I returned after a long two flights back home from Munich (including a brief layover at Dulles Airport) I got up at my usual time the next morning (even after poring over my hundreds of e-mails 'til midnight the night before), after I arrived home ! I got back into my home routine without so much as a yawn !

Today I'm going to share that method with you. Please let me know your results after you try it. I'm interested to know if this method works for everyone from all walks of life.

This diet was exclusively designed with the idea of helping people adjust to changed schedules, changing shifts for workers (such as power plant operators) or those wishing to drastically rotate work hours. The development of this diet was the invention of Dr. Charles R. Ehret for a division of Biological and Medical Research as an application of his fundamental studies of the daily biological rhythms of animals in a research lab in Illinois.

1. Determine breakfast time at destination on day of arrival.


2. Feast-Fast-Feast-Fast on home time three days before departure day. On day one, feast on a high-protein breakfast and lunch and a high-carbohydrate dinner. No caffeinated drinks should be consumed except between 3 and 5 p.m. On the second day fast on light meals of salads, light soups, fruits and juices. No coffee or caffeine drinks should be taken in except between 3 and 5 p.m., once again. On the third day you should go back to feast with an identical routine as described for the first day. The fourth day, being the day of departure, you will fast with one distinct change. If you drink caffeinated beverages you should take them in the morning when traveling west or between 6 to 11 p.m. when traveling east. If you are traveling west you should only fast for one half of the day.


3. Break your final fast at your final destination breakfast time. For best results you should not consume alcohol on the plane. If your flight is international, long or you experience long delays and layovers be sure to only sleep until normal breakfast time at your destination and no later. When you wake up, feast on high-protein breakfast. Stay awake and active. Continue day's meals according to meal times at destination.

What should you eat ?

Examples of foods to feast on are high protein breakfasts and lunches which would include steak, eggs, hamburger, high-protein cereals, nuts and green beans. The protein stimulates the body's active cycle. (This will re-train your body to have a active cycle for a longer period of time.) High-carbohydrate suppers will stimulate a sleep cycle and they include such dinners as spaghetti, pastas (without meatballs or sausage), crepes (without meat-fillings) potatoes and starchy vegetables and sweet desserts.

How do I fast ?

Fasting has a distinct effect on your body. It depletes the liver's store of carbohydrates which thereby prepares the body's clock for resetting. Suitable foods which can be consumed at this time, in moderation, are fruits, light soups, broths, small salads, dry unbuttered toast or half pieces of bread. As light as you can is the rule to keep calories to a minimum. Water hydration is essential.

On your return flight, you will want to repeat this procedure, again, three days before departure day. The best way to stay on track with this procedure is to log your feast, fast days so you will stay on schedule. This is made to reschedule your body for the destination and timing is important. Use a day book or an online calendar to keep your progress current and correct. Script it ahead of time, if you need a reminder, then check your progress. The only way this schedule can be defeated is if your destinations change drastically. Some adjustments can be made within reason depending on the destination difference. Do not continue a feast-fast-feast-fast routine for longer than four days.

Thought for the day:

And let us, with God's help, begin a new diet:

Fast from Criticism, feast on praise

Fast from Self-pity and feast on joy

Fast from Ill-temper and feast on peace

Fast from Resentment and feast on contentment

Fast from Jealousy and feast on love

Fast from Pride and feast on humility

Fast from Selfishness and feast on service

Fast from Fear and feast on faith.

The Castle Lady

with a feast of kisses and hugs !

Good News for Airline Passengers ?

     Maybe. Yes, I know that doesn't sound very encouraging from the last time I addressed a specific airline travel situation on this blog back on November 28th, 2009 but the reports look better if not improved to everyone's satisfaction. In truth, 2010 still had its problems. The downright space invading body pat down complaints, Europe's volcano eruption flight delays and new fees instituted by airlines were hardly a step in the right direction. However, a turnaround in DOT's focus from targeting airlines with more regulations to becoming more consumer friendly and enforcing regulations that actually help air travelers is a breath of fresh air. This is the first time in the administration's history that airline passengers rights are being given first consideration since DOT has been in force!

     Last Spring, a rule was put in force which limited tarmac delays to three hours. In addition, several consumer protection initiatives have been brought to the tables which will force air carriers to display airfares and optional fees to allow better side-by-side price comparisons and boosted fines for overbooking were also proposed over the summer which should be finalized by this Spring at the latest. Once these changes are approved airline passengers will have more clout and consideration with DOT than ever before. Not since the deregulation of 1978 has such radical changes gone into initiation and it will continue if everything gets approved and in a short period of time.

     Because of the changes that have already taken place our nation's cops issued 47 tickets to some of the top airlines of which the revenue from the citations totaled $3.33 million in penalties. This is up from 2009 in which the numbers totaled were 30 tickets and $2.6 million. The citations covered such areas as misleading brochure information on baggage compensation and failure of online information supplied by an airline to disclose full ticket prices. One citation even covered El Al's non-compliance with international baggage policy regulations.

     Unsurprisingly, DOT is getting some criticism on the new tarmac delay regulations from travel industry insiders and a few outsiders. All committees, aviation analysts and various industry agencies, such as AAI, feel that more can be done. Michael Miller, AAI's vice president says, "I don't think the tarmac-delay rule is well thought through, and I'm not alone." He also says that for the DOT to create a new legacy of consumer friendliness, it would be necessary to create new initiatives to make air travel noticeably better. One way would be to partner up with the Department of Homeland Security by improving the way passengers are screened and move away from the body-scan/pat down procedures now in place.

     Thomas Dickerson, the author of the book, "Travel Law" and a New York Supreme Court Judge feels that the poor disclosure of new airline fees for extra luggage, ticket changes and other options which were once bundled with the basic airline ticket should be better regulated. There has been an increase in litigation over surcharges, airport concession fees, government fees and passenger facilities charges. 

     With the changes, it appears that many people are stepping forward for greater airline passenger advocacy and that is a step in the right direction if these changes are not tied up in arguments over how these regulations should be written or enforced. Time is of the essence and any input from the consumers themselves will put us on a faster track to solving these issues and making flying more consumer-friendly. Everyone concerned will gain from the changes, I feel, including the airline industry itself.

The Castle Lady with good news for the new year 2011 !    

Consider the Source

Any time someone tells you something really bad

about someone you know

hardly know

or don't know at all

they are telling you more about themselves

then they are about the person

they talked about.

 

-Evelyn M. Wallace

 

 

What Would Elvis Do ? ?

By now some of the readers of this blog know about the catastrophe of Live Spaces™ being taken over by WordPress™. Who would've known that such a great concept for versatility in blogs would ever be upgraded (actually, downgraded !) to the point of non-existence? You'll have to excuse me if I take a moment to cry. Let me explain.

I started that little blog late in 2005 and was in awe of the fact that I could put something up on the WWW all by my novice self. I had not started my official web site yet but I had purchased the name http://www.ilovecastles.com/ and had a marker in place years before I finally put it up in 2006 with all the castles I had personally visited. I started my Live Space Castlelady™ blog after this one, so this blog was my first attempt but I did not start it with a clear concept in mind. To me, it is an online diary for which I intended to write everyday. So much for that ! This blog became more of a mosaic of my thoughts, aspirations, trials and hopes put into small essay forms, often. Sometimes it is only a hodgepodge of my pet peeves, strong opinions and inspirational lightning bolts from heaven. This blog has served a special need in my life and I really appreciate it for every purpose I have set it to do. However, when I started the Castlelady™ blog my purpose was very clear and my concept was set in stone. After a couple of years, I knew exactly how I wanted to lay out the photos, text and the lists organized just so.

When I found out on September 29th that Live Spaces™ were being shut down and migrated to WordPress™, at our discretion, I was crestfallen. I thought of all the work I have put up on it. I have been saving all of my entries on it for quite some time and keep two types of backup files so the information put up will not be lost. What concerns me most is that it took quite a bit of time to finally get my lists, my WMP and the layout of the blog exactly the way I wanted it to look and sound. http://castlelady.spaces.live.com/ has been through many changes that would be almost too subtle for most people to notice but became very important to me. I have enjoyed it for some time in its present format. I wrote and formatted the text precisely to target a casual reading audience or professors on the subject. That wasn't easy, considering the vast difference in knowledge of the diverse audiences. Doesn't it figure that someone had to come along and start rearranging the furniture- so to speak? It almost feels like we all got an eviction notice on Live Spaces™.

So I have a big decision to make in a matter of days. Being at a crossroads is never easy and making a determination on moving or deleting my blog like this was certainly not on my agenda for this year. Obviously, I have bigger fish to fry. I need to sit down and rearrange a schedule to get more writing done, in general. There is a matter of finding my way back to a regular income which won't cut into my writing time completely. There are so many things to be done and yet I am frozen on this platform of resolution. It almost makes me angry that I have been forced to make a decision that I didn't ever want to have to make.

The other day I asked myself," If Elvis was put in such a situation, what would he do ?" It helped because it was a bit of nonsense. I think Elvis would sing his way out of the mess to cut the tension. He always did that in the movies. In real life, he would write a song about the problem and record it. Maybe that helped him make choices that fit but probably didn't always work because I remember he went through several divorces.

Well, I don't want to divorce my blog and I don't like anyone forcing me to change something I have grown to cherish. Every time Live Spaces™ has upgraded it has always been a removal of this feature.. then a removal of that, etc. Now they don't even want to be bothered with providing a free blog to their members. How can that be considered an upgrade? It reminds me of products that have the words New and Improved emblazoned on their packaging. The caveat emptor is taking it home and finding out they just put two or more less ounces of the product in the package than before. WWED ?? Probably punch their lights out ! Since that is not an option I guess I'll have to go with the change...

NOT!

The Castle Lady

The Drew We Knew

      Of all the actresses I have watched in the movies and TV through the years I think Drew may be the only one I truly relate to on several points. Her struggle with overcoming addiction, however, is one I can't relate to but I can definitely sympathize with and applaud her ability to overcome a generational problem in her family. This is a very difficult task and I commend her on all that she has accomplished in that area of her life.

     When I read articles where she is being interviewed I often find myself nodding because we seem to think alike. I browsed through the book she came out with years ago which recounted her struggles with addiction and her family problems. This woman of thirty-five was drinking at nine years of age, smoking marijuana at ten and by the time she was fourteen had moved onto cocaine because she moved with a crowd way beyond her years. By the time she was making the movie See You in the Morning at thirteen she had already been in and out of rehabs. The book came out in 1990- the year I started my first nail salon and I made a beeline for the book because I just couldn't understand why she would follow in the footsteps of her grandfather concerning addiction. Instead of learning from his mistakes it appeared she had fallen into every hole which he had inadvertently dug for her.

     Everyone struggling with addiction who is ready to do something about the problem should read her book. It was written semi-journal style but is an expose on how addicts are born and not just made. The making is in the codependency of those around them and they also have to undergo treatment in order to learn how to help their loved ones recover with success. Drew's last sentence in the book continues to resound in my brain.

     " All I can do is the best I can."

     Nowadays she is giving out interviews where she describes herself as...

     "I am just a big walking question mark with an open heart."

     This is really not surprising given the fact that she has been sober and in control for double the time that she spent her life trying to sort out the good and the bad of being a Hollywood actress a bit too early in life and trying to find a reasonable existence in the middle of what can be confusing circumstances. A USA Weekend interview she gave out at the end of summer shows me that she has been through a lot of relationships during her life of sobriety which may be a result of the rocky upbringing. In her book she talked a lot about difficulty in dealing with her mother and in this most recent interview she still says there is a problem.

     "We just hit our bumps along the way. It's not an easy relationship. I'd say it is still a work in progress."

      This is a key issue in her life and I feel the same has been in mine. I have never tried to work out such things as she has had to because there were no underlying problems for me but I can certainly relate to having to work at relationships- even close ones. When she was still struggling with the addiction problems she spoke of resenting being patronized and felt misunderstood. Anyone who has had autonomy such as Drew so early in life is bound to feel that way. I have felt that way most of my life because being in control was an important aspect of living. Had my early life been a little more tranquil it's possible I would not be quite so fiercely independent but I feel it has been an asset in my life regardless of my singleness. I have never truly felt lonely and I need a lot of space.

     Apparently, Drew also feels this way because she's currently talking about a new relationship with her Going the Distance co-star, Justin Long, and having children without the benefit of marriage. Apparently her mother being a single parent gives her confidence in the area with a little uncertainty but I believe if anyone can pull off such a daring prospect given the circumstances created by her mother I have every reason to believe she could do it. Maybe I could, too. Like Drew, I have never felt the need to strive with the status quo. I enjoy being in my skin and being free and especially feeling free even when you can't. Reading about Drew's current life has made me also think about what the next half of my life will be and what's is around the corner. 

     "I'm trying to figure out what the second half of my life is going to be," Drew confides to Mary Murphy, a reporter for USA Weekend.

     Touché Drew. I am, also but I've got a good plan and I'm prepared to continue working it. If you give yourself a chance it might surprise you what you can do all on your own. It's always best, though, to travel in pairs.

 

The Castle Lady

with a pair of kisses !