honor virtutis praemium

Honor is Virtue's Reward

At the beginning of the last presidential campaign I made keen note of all the issues and tried to decide early on who I would watch closely and to see who had the most integrity to carry out the ambitious promises I expected each candidate to make. Most of my attention focused on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama since they were the only candidates which were tackling the issues I felt were the most important. Barack's were all about change which were a little vague at first and Hillary's were very cut and dried. I did not agree totally with everything on Hillary's agenda but most of it was very acceptable and I felt she was the most qualified since she had actually spent two terms in the White House in an advisory capacity.

Nobody seems to talk about being humble anymore but I think it's a wonderful virtue for anybody taking the Presidential seat especially with the current caustic political climate. When was the last time we had a humble President in the White House? It seems to me that Jimmy Carter tried to fulfill that quest and he did very well at that but he also made some grave errors. I think we all are aware of what those are, or at least those of us who have been keeping themselves reasonably informed when it comes to politics.

Humbleness comes in handy when people attack your character, decisions or even your moral compass. Without it you are left to defend what you may miserably fail at defending. I watched Bush try to defend our invasion of Iraq first with a deceptive motive, which was that they harbored weapons of mass destruction and then when that failed to hold water he told us we were morally obligated to these people while he went after his sworn enemy- Saddam Hussein. If he had told us the truth of his agenda from the beginning I certainly would have appreciated the honesty and conceded that something needed to be done with terrorists in a leadership role such as Saddam held. We did not receive the truth from him, however, and in my eyes he fell from grace at the moment he showed that he did not even want to admit that he lied.

Personally, I would like to see humbleness come back into vogue in every political office held in this country. I believe our foreign policies would start to line up with all the virtues that our founding fathers obviously cherished. It showed in their Bill of Rights, it showed in the Constitution and the Amendments. It showed, most importantly, in their lives which were far from perfect. I believe what showed the most, in certain cases, was a willingness to humble themselves when they most wanted to receive laudits. Abraham Lincoln, I understand, despised only one thing. That single most disgrace on his list comprised one word: grandstanding. He didn't do it and neither should our leaders. Self-esteem is really honor made manifest but honoring yourself is rarely worthwhile. Receiving honor after a job well-done is always better. I guarantee it.

I'll reward you with a guarantee

of my finest kisses !

The Castle Lady

What I Did for Twenty Years ! ! Conclusion

Why did I close my shop? The main factor was an unlikely occurrence on May 5, 1997. On that Sunday my mother decided to get overly busy and she broke her right ankle running down her downstairs staircase. As a matter of fact she broke both of her ankles in two separate incidences on that same day. My part was in taking her to Kaiser with the first one and getting her back home through the Cinco de Mayo traffic- which was horrendous in that decade in Denver!

After the shock of the second break and two ambulances later it became imperative for me to be close at hand in order to be of any help at all to her. She wound up in a nursing home for a short period of time but the house had to be made wheelchair accessible and it forced me to take time away from my shop. The only other instance in which I took that much time away from my shop happened when I was called in for Jury Duty during a Christmas season. It clearly was a hardship in both instances but in one I had no choice. When it came to my mother I wouldn't have chosen any different.

As a result, I closed my shop permanently, moved my business into hers ( home Beauty Salon) and stayed on because I felt it was necessary- even after she got back on her feet and went back to working in her salon. The down side to this was that I watched my business dwindle down slowly over the years. I had never found anyone who could take over my salon in my absence. This was the only negative factor of salon ownership during those seven years. Finding good, steady employees was always elusive and very frustrating. I don't feel I ever found a co-worker or employee that came even close to my standards. Most of the technicians I hired didn't have enough knowledge (a rather common occurrence because of the high burnout rate for this profession.) My goal was always to service a client according to their needs and objectives.

Apparently the different (and geriatric) atmosphere at my mother's salon was not conducive to my business which thrived at a storefront. Quite possibly, I had made an error in closing the prime location shop but I wouldn't have chosen any different given the circumstances. My family was first and there was no discussion. I hope I receive the same consideration someday when my time comes. Time will tell.

In 1999 I had two more life changes. One was positive and other was a learning experience that I'll not soon forget. That summer I sat down and wrote an inspirational book which practically wrote itself. If I have ever had an automatic writing experience I believe this was it, however, I was fully conscious of what I was writing. The result is a book about praise and worship titled, "In Spirit and In Truth". Once it was written I immediately started to try to find a publisher or agent. I met up with almost total silence and even in some cases hostility toward the ideas I presented even though every word of this book is scriptural and I supported it only with scripture. The response from publisher and agents was surprising and disappointing to say the least. Many did not bother to read it. Good reactions to the book came from ordinary church people. My only aim was to reach church-going Christians and so I view this book as a success. I still desire to get it published.

That same year, shortly after my birthday, I saw that my dwindling clientele was creating a financial hardship for myself and I decided to take a job in a bank as a teller. What started out as pleasant, menial work turned into a nightmare when I saw that the workload was being shunted my way too much. Within a year I quit because I started to develop stomach ulcers. I learned something about working in a corporate environment that I'll never forget and I don't believe I want to repeat the mistake because I believe that many of my clientele were put off by my irregular hours. I worked only evenings and Saturdays in my mother's salon at that time. This episode was debilitating to my spirit and created another hardship that I've never known. Taking in only half the pay I normally made in the past along with incredible amounts of stress was demoralizing.

When an opportunity to take a trip to see castles came along in 2001 I realized I was being given a chance to to make a long time dream come true. I have been interested in castles since I was a teenager- even before I took any trips overseas- my first in 1977 when I went to London for the first time. The Tower of London was my very first castle, which was a good place to start.

I seized the ring and set out for Paris- our starting point for the 2 week tour- on August 31st. To see castles in photos, diagrams and lithos in a book are great but it can't compare to being present to view them personally, walk their floors and study the individual architecture. I wouldn't trade the experience for any other trip I've ever taken. We took in seventeen castles in five countries in that span of time! In addition, it sparked a passion for architecture of which I had not been fully aware until I was there to see the castles for myself. I want to share this passion and I can truly say that my books will be those which I would want to use myself.

I hope you have enjoyed getting some details of my life which heretofore have been unknown to the internet reading public. If you still believe me to be a bit of a mystery all I can say is that each person must keep a certain amount of their lives in a strictly personal state. I share my feelings and hopes and dreams with those who don't mind getting close and sharing those details. This is why we have friends.

A friendly kiss and hug from

The Castle Lady !

What I Did for Twenty Years ! ! ! Part Two

Four years prior to that I had been working full-time and had almost full-time college course work in musical flute performance on my schedule plate, too. During the years between 1984 and 1987 I had played as third flute on what was then the Denver Symphony Orchestra stage (now the Colorado Symphony) on numerous occasions, sang and played for weddings and funerals and formed a flute/guitar duo with a Denver Public School teacher. I had started taking lessons when I lived in San Diego back in the early 80s and felt that I wanted to master my sound on it. This led to college even though I wasn't really looking to get a degree. My musicianship blossomed with every course I took whether it was theory, lab or an ensemble. It was a busy and exciting time for me but I always managed to find time to write poetry and composed my own songs.

I traveled extensively for years after 1983 attending trade shows for my profession in California, Arizona and even Massachusetts adding new services to my menu with each class. Very few nail technicians offer as many different mediums as I do so I took my artisanship in nails to the highest level. ( I know every type of artificial application whether it is acrylic extensions, gel, silk, linen, fiberglass or paper overlays (the latter of which is very passe'.) To this day I maintain my inventory to offer everything that is in my scope and capability. My vacations usually coincided with shows and classes but one year I really took a "time-off" vacation to Jamaica in 1989 which I found intriguing but also beguiling. Perhaps relaxing vacations were meant for other types of individuals. I remember renting a car and gallivanting all over the island!

A fond memory of learning about airbrushing comes to mind from the originators of the practice of doing this medium on nails. The people collectively owned a company called Colormist ( TM) and they developed the special airbrush stream to be 1/100th the usual width especially for nail art. The designs below show how muted and elegant the designs were and you could make your own templates to create the unique designs. We were only limited by our imagination. Imagine my dismay at what passes for airbrushing designs today. I don't care for most of them because they don't appear elegant to me. They get paint all over the fingers which has to be wiped off. The designs look crude and ostentatious. It may be a matter of taste but the designs below speak for themselves. Today I still do all my nail art with individual brushes to do hand-painted art and I have had many people tell me that my work is unsurpassed. I enjoy doing it my way and not the cookie-cutter method which prevails now.

After eleven years of working both in Colorado and California as an independent contractor (primarily) I took a month off from my daily schedule for a writing sabbatical to set about the business of getting my first book of poetry published. I'll never regret the time I took to find out what the life of a writer entails. The work is very solitary but quite fulfilling. I'll have to say that it is not the life for a loquacious individual unless you become a journalist. Otherwise, it is quite a bit of isolation combined with the fortitude of a nun and a very exacting business as well.

My book Seasons of the Heart was published in July and I did several poetry readings. When I went back to my work as a nail technician I found that my nail clients were the people most keenly interested in my book of anyone. They made my sales phenomenal for a first run book by an unknown poet. (For people outside of the literary world, poetry is the least money-making of all books published and they rarely print more than a few thousand copies even for well-known poets. My book paid for its own printing with the first one hundred sales!)

A little more than a year later, (1990) I decided to get serious about starting my own salon and I found a storefront in which the location was virtually untapped. There were no nail salons in the area and it was a prime business location. Two minutes after signing the lease contract with the owner of the strip mall I had a deja vu moment that told me I had made a decision that would change my life.

When I opened my doors on the first day half my clientele dropped off, telling me that they wouldn't drive as far as my location even though they all had followed me around a ten or more mile radius away from the location I'd started working when I returned to Colorado in 1983 ! I was a little stunned because it was obvious the snob factor had set in, of course. However, I rebuilt the missing clientele within a short time, due to constant prayer on my part and a faithful fortitude that I attribute to being the offspring of a long line of entrepreneurs and business owners.

After three successful years my lease was up and I started looking for a new location since my landlord decided to triple my rent! The only negative factor that I had experienced with salon ownership at that point was finding good, steady employees. This was very frustrating but I found that with being in charge I could make up for the lack of their standards with my own. Since I set the standard there was no one over me with any inhibiting factor of lack of expertise affecting the clientele. It was a great position for someone of my professional stature to keep.

Sure enough, I found a new location only three blocks away and I expanded my service and added a boutique. My biggest profit year occurred at that second location and I enjoyed it more as well. Because the space was quite small and cozy I felt it was necessary to completely redecorate it and I watched my clientele increase. I learned more about my capabilities in those seven years than at any other time of my life. If you want to build your character ( or test it!) start a business !

All during the years that I owned my salon, which was during the years 1990 to 1997, I used my flute playing skills by going back to a church I had attended many years before, on the strength of my mother's preference for the pastor's wife's teachings, to play in their orchestra. This is Marilyn Hickey's home base (ORCC) where I played flute or sang for their church for more than thirteen years! I also involved myself as an actress in the plays the director, Scot Aspromonte, ran from 1998 and really found my niche, I believe. For an interlude during the years '95 to '97 my flute playing and singing took a detour to a little church not far away from my relocated salon which was called "Good News". I was able to utilize my session playing very well there and had a very appreciative crowd for my solo singing, too.

More to come from The Castle Lady ! ; )

What I Did for Twenty Years ! ! ! Part One

From Spring of 1977 up to two years ago my steady source of income was the profession of manicuring and artificial fingernails. What most people consider tedious and menial work was a creative and financially well-rewarding vocation for me. Even when I started my own nail salon in 1990 I knew that I'd never become a millionaire- busy as I was- but the rewards were in the personal service of people (mostly women) achieving their individual beauty goals- a perk unmatched in any other personal service industry, in my estimation.

I never consciously gave up the profession. I'm still licensed and stock the materials to continue at any time ! The changes to this industry, however, have brought the standards of the practice to an all time low and the evidence of that is empty nail salons with one or two idle Asian "nail servers". Their unsanitary and dangerous practices have placed the integrity of the profession to the point of non-existence. Most of the "discounters" are not licensed and the public remains ignorant that this is a requirement in nearly every state of the union.

The blame for this lack of enforcement remains with the state boards who are supported by the licensed professionals. The boards don't even bother to inform the public of these standards and rarely hire enough people to inspect salons.

As a result I have watched my business diminish to nil even though I offer an impressive array of services, unmatched by most of the people in the nail service industry- professional or no. The discount salons simply offer basic and shoddy services at ridiculously low prices- but where are their clients?

Well, the proof is in the pudding, as they say and I haven't failed to see today's legendary drastic pay-cuts and job displacement as a parallel to the undercutting of the true beauty professionals supported by those who are only out to save-a-buck. I'm more concerned about saving what once was a wonderful profession from vanishing altogether.

During all these years of working as a nail technician I have been an avid reader and writer. I wrote from the time I was an elementary school student and took creative writing courses in high school. Poetry has always been a great love of mine and publishing my own book has been a dream come true. This happened in 1988 with my book, "Seasons of the Heart", a few years before I took the plunge into becoming a business owner for the first time.

To be continued....

The Castle Lady with TLC for all !

Have you hugged your Zoombak today ?

In a world that is becoming increasingly hostile to our children's safety it's nice to know that technology can work in our favor and not against us. This has come in the form of a new device called a Zoombak. If you haven't heard about them yet you owe it to yourself and your children to check into this innovative GPS locator. It is sized so that it can be placed in a child's backpack, on a bicycle or a laptop bag but I would suggest- for increased personal safety for the child- that it be placed in a pocket or on a neckchain which can be hidden under clothing.

When you log onto the device to find its real time location you can find out their position even from your cell phone. You set up customized safety zones such as "home", "school" or "park" and can be alerted when the Zoombak leaves or enters the pre-set zones.

Check out http://www.zoombak.com/ for further details.

The Castle Lady keeps you and your household safe ! ; )

Tomorrow ? More about me! Stay tuned !

The Life and Times of The Castle Lady

     Many of my readers seem to think I'm some woman of mystery because I don't write about myself very much. In truth, this particular blog isn't a daily log of my activities, either. If you've been reading this blog faithfully you've figured that out by now. All a person would have to do is read through all my entries to make that presumption.

     My original intention for this blog- which was the very first blog I ever started-was to chart my progress (on a frequent basis, if not daily) on my research and writing about European castles. If you jog over to http://castlelady.spaces.live.com you will see that it became a better forum and format for achieving that goal and I've used that ever since and even after I put up my official web site www.ilovecastles.com in September of 2006.

     I think of this blog as my unburdening and current topic opinion forum. it has served me well on that score. It seems to be irrelevant to my castles work. Just keep in mind that I am a writer first and foremost and I'm willing to write about almost anything that is interesting to myself and, hopefully, my readers. During the first three decades of my life I wrote a voluminous amount of poetry, then essays and short stories and plotted out several novels which I play around with since I started researching castles on the internet. I don't take my fiction writing any where near as seriously as I have my non-fiction writing. That may change with time. As long as I am happy with my work on castles, fiction writing will be kept on the back-burner.

     With that put forth, I propose to write about myself and my life for the next few entries. I only intend to write what I want my reading public to know about my life prior to my serious undertaking the profession of writing. Some people might consider my original profession to be equally as whimsical as writing but I can rightly state that it was quite lucrative and a steady, reliable income until only a few years ago.

     In my next entry you can expect to go back in time... to the year 1977. Until then...

 

Keep on keepin' on.... The Castle Lady 

Love Bears All Things....

 

Nequaquam nobis divinitus esse paratam

Naturam rerum; tanta stat praedita culpa

-Lucretius

 

(Had God designed the world, it would not be

A world so frail and faulty as we see.) 

 

     I believe that the happiest people in the modern world are those who experience many deep friendships. We feel obligated to family (usually), and also to spouses and often, even our children. One purposefully forms friendships and this is where the difference lies. We choose our friends and keep the relationships alive through our own volition. Is it any wonder that many times, we prefer the love of our friendships over the love of family and family ties?

     This is not as unusual as many people seem to think. If you have never read C.S. Lewis' book, "The Four Loves" I highly recommend that you do so and as soon as possible. It is the single most book that I can point to and say it made a difference in almost every long term relationship I've had since. It has also been effective in shorter term and fleeting relationships as well. Those which were established before I read it- such as family and people I have known all my life have been a little more difficult to apply the principles to- but if you read the book you will understand why.

     There is a serious problem today of lack of affection between people who may ordinarily have closer ties or at least friendlier relationships for many complicated and not-so-complicated reasons. The increase in social-interactive crimes, identity theft, and a general- purportedly justified- lack of trust is mostly to blame. Our social ills also add to this general alienation between people and cinch the problem.

     If you have attended a church which includes primary Bible studies including regular services then you have been taught to know that God is love and that all love comes from Him. Additionally, we know that we cannot love without Him. Love has many dimensions, faces and duties- just like God. The same way we learn to trust God we can also learn to trust each other. This is possible even in the perilous times we live in if we learn to use discernment.

     Discernment has been a rather unused virtue for the past few decades and I don't see any improvements in wisdom or judgment either. We rely more on our general mistrust and skepticism than we do with our minds. It is a sign of the times but it's also sad. Are we to sacrifice relationships which might be more fulfilling than any other only because of fear ? 

     I believe there's a better way and my feeling is that great discernment is God-given. This requires trust in God first and then you can tap into this "mind" of God and know many things. This is scriptural. Look up Philippians 2:5 which reads "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." This is a verse full of power because it gives us awesome abilities with our own minds. If you repeat this scripture often it's like repeating the promises. Your mental abilities increase immeasurably.

 

Be blessed with abundance and my kisses !

The Castle Lady

 

It is impossible to understand the things of God

standing in the shadows of disbelief.

- Evelyn M. Wallace (2004) 

    

    

       

 

A Resolute Heart

"The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one.

 Commitment is healthiest when it's not without doubt but in spite of doubt."

- Rollo May

 

     You may wonder why I would begin this entry with a quote from a known humanist and yet I believe that some of the best words which fit my criteria come from sources which most people would view as being from left field- given my dedication to being a Christian. Sometimes, however, pearls come from surprising sources. They often crop up where you least expect to find them and I don't think it takes away anybody's credibility to ask questions concerning matters of faith and belief.

     Faith concerns reliance on intangibles and speculations. Matters of faith are a challenge to the skeptic but those challenges should be made reciprocal. One of my favorite quotes by Francis Bacon is thus: "If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin in doubts he shall end in certainties." Some of the best questions about faith come from skeptical people and when I take on these inquiries I find it strengthening. Perhaps because one must ask these questions of themselves to understand why they believe the way they do.

     I feel the same about my work in writing in general and  the castles project. I am not only committed to my projects but I am resolved to see them come to completion and fruition. A resolute heart is one which has moved beyond faith and into the realm of complete devotion and total possession of the object of desire. It's yours and no one can take it from you.

     Furthermore, I respect a resolute heart. This is the heart of God and we have the capability, by being his creation, to this inheritance. He is devoted to us and has made many commitments to us which is repeated over and over in the Bible that he will keep. Did you know we are God's favorite subject? We are not his only subject of interest but we are His primary concern. 

     Knowing this not only makes me feel secure in His love, it also gives me the impetus to emulate him. To be more and more like Him. All I have to do is be myself. 

 

With resolute kisses, The Castle Lady !      

 

    

 

 

Independence Has Rewards

     Recently I came across a quote by Mahalia Jackson when I was going through some old papers that I'd written down from some mysterious source and then promptly put it away for future reference. This quote struck me as particularly apt for our times and for my personal current status, too.

 

It's easy to be independent when you've got money.

But to be independent when you haven't got a thing-

that's the Lord's test.

 

      I don't know exactly how I felt about this quote when I first saved it but I've always had an independent spirit and perhaps I felt it was a bit curious of a statement. It's only more recently that I've noticed a negative aspect to my penchant for doing things my own way. Lack of support never seemed to be an issue nor did hardship. My mind hasn't changed at all. When I can work alone at something and rely on my own resources -that's when I hit a happy state that is almost like what the Hindus call nirvana.

     Perhaps it's because I've chosen a subject- castles to be precise- that seems too remote to people. Very few relate to castles or castle lore save for those who live very close by them. (People who live in Northumberland or Yorkshire come to mind.) My internet traffic on my web site and castlelady blog is most often from native English speakers when I check statistics, less often French and even more rarely others. The inquiries repeat themselves over and over again and they are very basic and almost ignorant. I think it's sad that people who have not experienced castles appear to have little or no interest in them. I would perhaps do better in England and Europe with my books than I could possibly ever achieve in sales with Americans.

     The sad part of this is that I want to get Americans excited about castles and I have made very little progress as far as I can tell. Since I have been reading about and poring over photos of castles from my childhood I almost take my own interest for granted but I can't afford to take it for granted. Too many people around me need to catch up and I may as well be speaking Greek as to talk about what I know of my subject.

     Here's the positive: It's like uncharted territory and I have to find out how to spark the interest in the architectural aspect of castles along with whatever people might find intriguing about them. I never realized how much I knew until I started talking about castles with people and then writing about them. For many years I silently studied with no desire to speak of my interest. I have been unaware, all this time, that my passion was like a secret love and it astonishes those who never thought about them. At times, it's like I'm talking about monsters. Other times I find someone who asks all the right questions and then I'm in my element.

      Along with the lack of interest and ignorance there is no financial support for such an endeavor. I could stand up in front of any university crowd and give dissertation after dissertation but I don't have any such credentials to do so and I don't think there would be any support of such training save for an architectural college. Even then, my subject would be largely irrelevant to them, eventually, for the most part. These people have to make a living when they leave with their degrees. 

      Following this path will be a lonely one but I can handle that- and there are rewards there, too. Jesus said, "A prophet hath no honor in his own country." Perhaps someday I'll see an outpouring of interest to match that of sports, movies, music and the like- until then I'll just have to revel in the hidden rewards which exist in rugged individualism and true independence. 

Individual kisses from The Castle Lady  

Earth Day ~April 22nd~ Change is Good !

     One way to make a true difference in our current times is to be ready for change but how does one prepare for change? In truth, people are such creatures of habit we could be compared to salmon during spawning season when it comes to rearranging and reordering all our ritualistic days of duties, obligations and schedules. Indeed, the idea of even making small sacrifices in the ways we've always done things is enough to make us want to dig our heels into the dirt like stubborn goats and refuse to even talk about it. Is it any wonder that when we hear that word our natural inclination is only to cringe inside?

     When someone prepares for times such as these- slow economy, supply scarcity, money problems and debt- it's imperative to get ready for drastic sacrifices perhaps and learn to live in a different way. This makes me think of words from Thoreau's book, Walden:

 

        I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do. We may waive just so much care of ourselves as we honestly bestow elsewhere. Nature is as well adapted to our weakness as to our strength. The incessant anxiety and strain of some is a well-nigh incurable form of disease. We are made to exaggerate the importance of what work we do: and yet how much is not done by us! or, what if we had been taken sick? How vigilant we are ! determined not to live by faith if we can avoid it; all the day long on the alert, at night we unwillingly say our prayers and commit ourselves to uncertainties. So thoroughly and sincerely are we compelled to live, reverencing our life, and denying the possibility of change. This is the only way, we say; but there are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one center. All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant.

 

     From reading this anyone could sense that we are really ignoring the true essence of our lives. We are much more adaptable than the average animal because we are essentially a higher intelligence. Often, however, we see animals coping with environmental changes (which we made) easier than we did ourselves !

     Many people will have a difficult time with conforming to less consumerism, less waste, less necessities, etc. but if we set our minds to economy then it is not so difficult to start altering our standards, if only for a time. This is only one instance of adaptation. Perhaps your industry has dried up and you're now looking at having to go back to technical college, learn a new profession or restart a business at a new location.

     Some will face other "run-off" problems involving social interaction and even coping with discrimination. We cannot know everything that will come at us when we're trying to improve our lives but we can change the way we feel about our lives and the lives of those around us even in the midst of hardship or perhaps because of it. This is the day of repentance. It is upon us and we must listen not only to our hearts but look in each others eyes for the answers as well. As my mother would say:

 

United we stand, divided we fall.

 

The Castle Lady