Wild May !

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with weary feet,

Until it joins some larger way,

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

from Book One of The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

     May has been so up and down, sideways and inside-out that I’m beginning to wonder how we arrived at the 31st this quick. Personally, my month has been wilder than a box full of hungry kittens ! On the tenth of May I was able to finally conduct an interment of my dear mother’s remains and the date seemed as good as any, specifically before or after Mother’s Day. I have been trying to get my life back in order since that day and have lost precious writing time which I’ll never be able to recoup. It has reminded me of the words of Bilbo Baggins which Frodo remembers before he starts his own adventures outside of The Shire, in the very beginning of the first book of Lord of the Rings (i.e. The Fellowship of the Ring):

     “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,” he used to say. “You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

     During this most reflective of passages something deeply profound is conveyed which has stuck with me and reminds one that you can make a difference in your life and the lives around you no matter where you end up or land. It is simply that, in life, ‘there is only one road; that it is like a great river: its springs are at every doorstep and every path is its tributary.’ That paraphrase being said- the following account of my life from May 10, 2018 to May 23, 2018 shall be submitted with the idea in mind that you’ll get a glimpse into a period of my life which is devoid of any writing only because I couldn’t get my hands on something with which to write or when I did there was something infinitely more pressing that I had to do.

     Even though I was to preside over this informal interment of my mother’s urn (into the plot she spent more than a year paying for in installments in the 1970s) I was, in the words of the family service rep, ‘fashionably late’ but everything had been set up already when I arrived (canopy, seating, ground opened, etc.) and ready to roll, so to speak. Since I was in possession of Mom’s urn and sealed box everyone that attended had to wait about ten minutes for me to surrender the box and later while Ms. Seaton and her aides were able to position the vaulted box over the area where it was to be lowered. I read a poem, which is an entry on this blog, as a Mother’s Day tribute. (See, To My Mother, May 13^th entry)

     I gave everyone who attended a chance to speak and it was quite uplifting, for the most part, to hear what family members had to say. The gathering was unbelievably small but I hadn’t invited many people. I decided on family primarily, from which only a few invitees attended. I did not want to turn it into something Mom would rather skip herself but we all seemed to agree on one premise. Mom had a way of making sure the people around her felt loved. It was her gift and her mission in life, I believe. She had the following phrase printed on the back of her business cards some years after she started her salon (eventually turning out to be her mission statement) because she backed it up with chats which always centered on her faith in Jesus Christ with each and every customer. The phrase is, “Introducing Jesus to you is the best way I know to say “thank you”. John 3:16”. In her day, it was well-received by almost everyone. Today I’m not sure how it would be perceived- given the times- but it garnered a clientele which encompassed most of the neighborhood and included men’s haircuts in the bargain. She wasn’t a barber so Mom styled and permed men’s hair at a time when it was fashionable.

     Before the lowering of the vault with my mother’s urn and box inside I was given three roses to put inside the vault and put them around the box. I thought Mom would like that- she loved roses and I still maintain her rosebushes in memory of her. No one stayed to see the grave being sodded over and even I stood well back. I felt good about knowing that she was loved enough by me to make sure that her wishes were honored. It was my attempt and intention to try to make our investments in each other equal. I hope I made her proud that day.

     Afterward, the drive home was in bumper-to-bumper traffic and the hottest May 10^th in Denver since who-knows-when, I’m sure. At some point when I was less than a mile away from home I decided to briefly stop in a parking lot to get my bearings, take a break for something to drink and get a few dollar store items. When I restarted the car it kept cranking but the engine wouldn’t turn over! That’s never happened with my car that I can recollect. I’ve owned this car for 27 years and have only had regular maintenance and replacement parts put on it. I was stunned and was without cell phone service- I could see the time but couldn’t make any calls. Several people, for the next four hours, allowed me to use their cell phones to call AAA to get roadside assistance. First, a diagnostician came and went over everything that was within AAA scope of services. He said he couldn’t find anything wrong- other than the fact that it wouldn’t start. His solution was to have the car towed. By this time two hours had flown by and I was now exhausted. It took three more phone calls to get the tow people out and they also did a diagnosis on it just in case it decided to just start, I suppose. It sounded the same. Cranking but not turning over. The driver thought perhaps it was a fuel pump failure.

     Once we finally got going it should’ve only taken them another ten to fifteen minutes to get me and the car to my house. When we were half a mile from my house a garbage truck driver managed to knock off the driver’s side mirror off the tow truck with the garbage truck side mirror and it was completely shattered. It looked deliberate but who knows? Maybe the garbage truck driver was having a bad day or something. Did they exchange info and go on? No. The driver of the tow truck got upset and insisted on getting the police out to check it out. I agreed with him that it looked deliberate but stayed neutral. I just wanted to go home at this point. The AAA people came to give him support while we were waiting for police. After more than an hour the police finally ambled by and shook their heads ‘no’ and left. By this time I was just as desperate to get home as any homeless person ever was and I wanted to find out who I could get to work on the car. I sure didn’t plan on spending my entire afternoon in a parking lot or a tow truck!

     Five hours after I initially found out that my car wouldn’t start I was delivered home (1:30- 6:30 !) with my car deposited on my driveway and no prospects for being able to get anything more done that day. I needed to take a shower, eat something before my stomach gave up the ghost and try to figure out what I was going to do. Not exactly a happy camper was I. No one pays nearly $2,000 to be as unhappy as I was at that moment but in the ensuing days it got a little better and then much worse.

     By Sunday the 13^th I managed to contact a nearby car rental place which I have used before. It was perhaps the nicest thing I’ve done for myself in awhile so I decided to have it for the weekend and get my car towed first thing on Monday to a tire service place that also works on cars in general. I hate being without a car to drive. I receive regular e-mails from this particular rental car business that offer weekend getaway deals so I felt confident that it would be a good idea. One objective to this is that I had planned on going back to the cemetery to make sure everything was as it should be.

     I received no calls from AAA on this dilemma. As a matter of fact I was stunned when I called them about trying to get more help on this issue to be told by a phone attendant that even though I’ve been a loyal member for 39 years it was only basic ($55 a year!) and they didn’t offer more than what I’d received. Further, I could only get roadside assistance 3 times on the same issue. (I had just paid my membership on March 31^st so that’s the thanks I received after all these years!) No one at AAA has ever talked to me like that before so I chalked it up to today’s rampant apathy. Not happily, though! Preferential treatment to customer loyalty is almost a joke any more. Century Link is a prime example.

     After I got the brush off from AAA, I spent the next three days, before renting the car, combing through the Yellow Pages and trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with my car which I tried to start several times while it sat in my driveway. On Sunday after I’d managed to get the rental car I got groceries initially because I also had happened to run out of almost everything by then. I took flowers from my own yard to my aunt Anne because I figured no one would visit her and I was right. I was the only person who showed up for Mother’s Day even though she’s not my parent. She has two grown, married children (with children) - my cousins- but she spent the day alone except for my visit.

     Once I finally found an auto repair that I thought would be able to handle the problem, I called AAA and set up my last free tow on Wednesday morning the 16^th, to have the car taken to Firestone and followed the tow truck in the rental all the way out there. All this time I had been looking through the internet at sites like RockAuto.com to find out what was available for parts on my 1990 car because its make and model were obsolete practically since the day that it showed up at the dealership where I bought it, (until 1997-unbeknownst to me!) Not for a minute did I think it was a simple matter of my battery being low because two people from AAA had supposedly done a thorough diagnosis on that issue back on the tenth.

     As soon as I got the car there they set up yet another diagnosis for the car even though I told them that AAA had already ran a battery of tests twice. Then I was told that they may not get to it that day. The next day at noon I received a call from a Firestone rep saying that the computer (?) needed to be replaced and that it happened to be the most expensive part on the car. Right at that moment something suddenly didn’t ‘smell’ right to me but since all the diagnosis on the car had come up with no clue as to the problem I had no real cause to doubt it at that point.

     Days went by and then a weekend while I went about the business of my life which is always filled with lots of physical work, necessary shopping I needed to accomplish and trying to get to my writing. I had wanted to get started ASAP on ordering a nice marker for Mom’s site and got a call from Kim at Fairmount on the 18^th- a Friday but I didn’t have any decisions made for her because I was trying to wrap my head around the delay to everything and what it could possibly cost me. If you’ll recall, I just got myself out of debt by the end of last year and managed to garner something to get my Mom in her plot. This was something I could not have foreseen and would not have even guessed at, leave alone planned. I had to put it off since I hadn’t been able to get in touch with my Dad since the day I’d seen him at the interment.

     A weekend went by and then I started to get concerned and started calling Firestone early Monday morning. I was put off ‘til Tuesday and decided that whether I had a car or not- the rental needed to go back to the rental place and I told them I was bringing the rental back on Tuesday. I had never planned to have it longer than the weekend so I knew it was going to get to vacation bill proportions. I had just got off the phone with the rental agency and now Firestone was telling me I could pick up the car immediately. I had to take the rental back after running the last errands I needed to for the day, have them drive me back home and take a bus out to the Firestone.

     When I went to take the bus to Firestone it had to start raining, of course, but I was prepared. I was shocked at what the final bill from Firestone was (hundreds!) and could only put it on a credit card. ARGH ! This put the total fiasco tally past $1,000. Hadn’t I just defeated something similar? So much for a marker on Mom’s grave. I suppose that’ll take another five years depending on how long it takes me to get out of debt again. Groan.

     The ensuing hours on the 22^nd were absolutely unbelievable! When I opened the car door to start it and go home I heard the weirdest noise I ever heard coming from the dash. I’d certainly never heard that before and when I turned the key to start the car it cranked for a long time before it finally started. The engine sounded the same as it did on the day of the 10^th on the ride home and showed no performance difference. The only difference was the noise that wouldn’t go away. When I got it home I turned off the ignition and the noise started again as soon as I opened the car door and took the key out of the ignition. I decided, on a hunch, to put the key in the ignition and close the door without trying to turn it on and the noise suddenly stopped. As soon as I took the key out of the ignition the noise started up. Two more tries with the door closed or opened revealed that the door had nothing to do with the sound.

     I was floored at this noisy new feature but had to go inside to get some pressing things done and went back out within fifteen minutes. The noise was still going and I tried to start the car. It was completely dead. I couldn’t even hear a click leave alone the ignition sound and every time I took the key out of the ignition the new noise started. To say the least, I was livid. The original problem was now even worse and I’d just paid a pile of money for a car I couldn’t start at all now! At that instant I knew that the computer had nothing to do with the car starting or not starting but was quite surprised that they hadn’t really fixed the problem at all.

      I went inside and called Firestone and told them what had happened including the noise. The phone attendant told me that they would send a tow truck in the morning, free of charge, to take it back to them and find out what the problem was which helped alleviate some of the aggravation but being as how I’d been without my car now for 12 days it was getting to be a bit much. When the tow truck driver called the next morning I told him what had happened the previous day and the past 2 week’s history. He called Firestone and then called here again and said that he would be towing it there and I was to talk to Murray when I got there. I let the tow truck driver hear the noise coming from my dash when he showed up and he didn’t seem at all surprised. I rode with the tow truck to Firestone and noticed before we pulled out of my driveway that he had put some device on my battery.

     When we got there I talked to Murray and then I believe he personally worked on my car. After only a short period of time he came into the waiting lobby of the store and said it was fine, no noise and it started immediately. He tore up the repair order and said he didn’t do anything. He brought me to my car and he said for me to start it myself. I opened the door and there was no more noise. When I finally got myself adjusted in my car correctly and turned the key it started right up like it always does. No extra, mysterious noise of any sort. He said he didn’t have to do anything except reconnect my battery cables and he just put them back on. (I would’ve never been able to start my car or gotten home with battery cables unconnected the previous evening!) I told him that the tow truck driver had hooked something up to the battery just before he towed my car and that was probably why the battery cables were disconnected.

     While I was driving home, I put two and two together and realized that the last tow truck driver was the person who solved the problem. My battery was most likely in need of attention and that was probably all that was wrong on the 10^th. Why that wasn’t detected by three diagnosticians is the real mystery. Meanwhile, I just spent $550 for a so-called computer I probably didn’t need to replace. I had asked Murray about why the attendant refused to let me take the parts taken off and he gave the same answer she did the previous night even though I was promised that I would be given back any parts taken off of my car. This was so it could be sent back to the factory they bought the new one from which they will rebuild (?) This is quite the deal for Firestone and a total and complete rip-off to the unsuspecting consumer. If that’s true why wouldn’t they offer a rebate to the car owner? Where’s my proof that they replaced anything or took anything off my car?

     Well, my car is starting like it always did but now I’m in debt when I shouldn’t be. Far be it for someone to admit they made a mistake and prevent the customer from paying dearly for it! What a contrast to the almost angelic people who let me use their cell phones to call for help! They didn’t have to help me but they did. It didn’t put a penny in their pockets to assure me and allow me to use their prized possessions. One grounds worker at the parking lot site even gave me a bottle of water because it was really hot that day. One of them assured me she would come back to see if AAA ever came! I’m so glad our paths intersected for even a few minutes or more. They helped keep me from having a day no one wants to endure after burying a loved one.

When you’re given a chance, lend a hand where you can !

The Castle Lady

What Kind of Person do You Think I Am ?

    

With all the work I have put into my blogs over the years it has become an assumption of mine that my readers have deduced my character, demeanor and lifestyle through my writing. Perhaps that’s a bit of an error on my part. Most of my writing only requires me to step aside and lay down facts. My own agenda, opinions and preferences are put aside in most instances or kept to myself. That works for me because I can concentrate on what is essential to my subject without adding my own colors unnecessarily. Additionally, non-fiction writing allows you to work incognito and I’ve taken that road more often than not but it isn’t absolutely necessary. In all honesty, I’m a modest person but not necessarily shy so it’s become a habit for me to keep myself out of it, if possible. However, I’m going to try to break out of that rut. This entry is an attempt to introduce you to the person you’ve been reading so you can get a clearer image and better idea of who I am as a person.

     The fact that I’ve been mostly reticent about myself was entirely unintentional. In trying to be as professional as I can I’ve deprived you of knowledge about my aspirations. However, I do want you to know where I’m coming from in terms of my personal and work background, where I have lived and traveled and what I want and expect to achieve with my work on castles. I’ve never really thought much about my station in life because my priority has always been following my interests, desires and needs. God has been gracious to me and helped me (along with my parents) in achieving my goals and aspirations. No one could ever rightfully accuse me of being high maintenance. Economical in every sense of the word is not only my highest priority on a day to day basis, it has practically become my motto. It’s all too obvious what my excesses are from my writing so this will not be news to you. My main overindulgence is education, knowledge and, above all, truth and honesty in dealings and communication.

    

Someone once left a comment on my WordPress castles blog which said simply, “What’s with all the castles?”  After I stopped laughing- actually, I just laughed again- I started to seriously ponder the question. It’s obviously a favorite subject of mine to put it mildly but beyond the apparent reasons why I started to write about castles I’m sure that the mysteriousness and appearance of these magnificent edifices is what started me on the journey of exploring and then writing about them. I pored over books on castles from the time I was a teen. It didn’t occur to me at the time that I would eventually visit these places. Supposing that I couldn’t possibly ever visit even one made them more attractive and important. When I finally went on my grand tour of castles back in 2001 it was a dream come true and has been my best and most exciting travel excursion in my life- thus far. I’m more in love with castles now than I ever have been! I’m not sure if I have answered the question above but it’s the best way of explaining why I have spent the past 19 years researching them online. I have a small library on the subject of castles alone. Well, it’s small if you think 100 books is a small collection. There are many more I’d love to own and hundreds more I’d at least like to read or read again!

     If someone asked me, “What’s with all the writing?” I’d probably only laugh again. I’ve been writing longer than my so-called obsession with castles and has become such a part of me that- to think of myself as something other than a writer- I’d probably just say I’m a poet. I started my writing career with poetry as a child. Further I’d say that I’m a poet first, even if the number of my poems pale in comparison to all my other writing. When did I start singing? My mother told me that I sang back to her from the crib! People used to stop my mother in church and remark that they’d never heard a baby sing before. Eventually, Mom took me to a professional vocal coach who wanted me to try for a scholarship to C.U. for operatic training. Somehow I couldn’t visualize myself in that scenario and there are times that I regret not taking that more seriously. I felt that my voice talent belonged in the church because it was God-given. I never had to struggle with my vocal talent and have always enjoyed singing. Playing the flute was practically the same thing. I only wanted to play for the Lord. I may need an attitude adjustment for that someday but for now I’m happy with singing occasionally here and there, mostly at church and definitely to the Glory of God.

    

I enjoy life as it is, also. From 1977 up to 2007 I kept busy making a living working as a nail tech. I’m still a working technician but I’m not anywhere near as busy as I was during those first 30 years! I have traveled to nail shows and seminars all over the U.S. (mostly on the West Coast) and even lived and worked in San Diego for three years. Mostly what I learned in San Diego was autonomy. I moved there when I turned 22 and did all the California things that a young woman can do when they are in such an environment. Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve had certain opportunities in my life if I had continued living there. Moving back to Denver after all that wasn’t easy. I just readjusted and went back to working as a nail tech but I also enrolled in college and started taking music classes and advanced flute performance training. I didn’t come away from there with a degree because I wasn’t seeking a degree. I didn’t feel that I needed one and when I decided that I’d gotten everything out of musical training that I wanted, turned my sights on nail salon ownership.

     Being a business owner is quite a high ride even as a small business! It is very demanding of time but there is no better confidence builder. If one does not become a millionaire at the end of it then there is the prestige of such experience which is not generally overlooked by potential employers. The responsibility is enormous and will take every bit of your energy. Your work ethic becomes top priority because you don’t make it unless you rise to the occasion. From 1990 to 1997 my salon survived two locations and a growing retail business and eventually tanning. The latter was not an asset but I learned something about the business that I didn’t know before I added it. I’m convinced that my expertise in nails (which I had already acquired before I started the salon) made all the difference in my success. Interestingly, when I decided to close my salon and move operations to my mother’s full service home salon, it wasn’t that difficult to give it up. I’d learned what I needed to learn from that period of my life and wanted to move on.

     After that, I knew that whatever I decided to do from here on should be a dream maker because I am convinced that if I apply all the things I’ve learned through the years- the work ethic, following desires, being confident, using energy well- the effort of all that will impart more success. To me, success isn’t just about making a million (or more) dollars, it’s about making dreams a reality. It isn’t a game, it’s real life and a real possibility. Success isn’t a competition, it’s arriving at the destination you wanted. It’s finding out that what you wanted is worth your time, toil and care. Success, for me, is an intrinsic value and an extrinsic one as well. Whoever said, “Nothing succeeds like success,” was not being facetious- he knew what he was talking about. I know what it is to be a success, the kind which is worth its name.

     Finally, in conclusion, my hope is that you understand me a little better and know that I’m as down-to-earth as anyone else. My castles are real, not in the air! I know what it is to turn around after a big monetary windfall and put 90% of it back in for the next project or keeping the business afloat. I’ve put in seventeen years of dedicated work for a dream, which as of today, has not yet made one dime for me. However, I believe in the worth of the work- it couldn’t remain a fantasy that long and survive in my world! I believe it was Flaubert who said, “I beg you to believe that if it didn’t amuse me to paint, I wouldn’t do it.” There’s the love part. It’s the true key to success.

Honestly,

The Castle Lady

To My Mother

This fabulous poem written by a mere child fits my sentiments towards my mother perfectly. I know you're happy in heaven Mom but you know you're thought about daily and I'm looking forward to the day when we will once again be reunited as mother and child. Love, Evelyn, the Castle Lady!

by Laurel L. Hoye, age 8

You are like an everlasting friendship.

You are like a secret almost

too wonderful to keep.

You are like the beginning, end and everything

in between.

You are like a spring shower.

You are like the sun shining on me and

keeping me warm.

You are like a wild flower in a meadow.

You are like a very knowledgeable volume

of encyclopedias.

You are like you and I love you.

The Writing Life

    

Not many people understand what the life of a writer entails. When we are earnestly in pursuit of our profession we spend more hours on our work and/or craft (and more diligently) than most people do at any other job you can name. I’ve lost count of the times people have asked me in person or over the phone, “What are you doing? Where have you been?” Average work days for most people are eight hours a day but for the past 17 years it has not been unusual for me to work at writing for more than 12 hours in a day and no less than 8. Ah! Those were the days! I can tell you that we are not only dedicated, in most instances, but if we could work longer days- if it was physically possible, most of us probably would and certainly not complain about it. Mainly, I am speaking for myself in this case but I’m sure that my fellow bombastic-but-ardent scribes most likely do the same or more. Some of us sleep.

     Once writing becomes a serious part of your life- for whatever reason you

are writing- words take on an importance in the way a surgeon’s tools become integral to his skill as a physician and healer. We scour dictionaries, pore over thesauruses and read obscure sources for the best word in order to give our ideas and theories impetus. We are not just pouring out words, we also devour them like hundreds of pieces of rice and corn at a meal. We must feed on words in order to create them. Our behavior is not unusual given our profession. Our words and ideas must have meat with fat on them! New words flash like neon signs in our minds for hours if they are powerful enough and our ideas are formed by how we feel about certain words. We are full of word prejudice; Arbiters of words, you could say.

     Writers are accused of being daydreamers in early childhood and even into adulthood. Having never experienced this type of criticism from anyone, I have come to understand that it’s quite common. The sentences we write take about 50 to 100 times more forethought per sentence. (You can give and take those numbers and still basically be right about the math. It’s an individual thing for each person.) We certainly come across to people as very quiet so we stare much more than we talk and you can be sure we’ve observed everything in our path, the room, the concert hall or the shopping mall. Observations come with the territory and believe it or not, it’s exhausting. Sometimes it can be tiresome to pay that much attention to certain mundane aspects of life. There are a percentage of us who believe that is what our job actually is- observation and then to paper. Journalists at heart- believe it!

   

  Personally, I was a poet first before I ever wrote anything else. My first book of poetry, Seasons of the Heart, is primarily a collection of my first poems up to the brink of adulthood- before I moved out and away from my parent’s house. Poets are very special writers and any writer will agree with me on that premise. They may expound much further than I because I am a poet and a writer. There are two workers inside of me needing to take that precious time. My poet is hungry these days and needs more sleep and sitting quietly observing everything. But the poet has learned how to swoop down like a heron on a surfacing fish in the water. When those poems come, everything stops and the poet writes and soars through those castles in the air. Castles? I’ll throw one in if I must but for now… 

   

    

The best gift a writer can be given is extra time. Mundane life activities such as housework, cooking meals, general self-care, driving anywhere, shopping and exercise take away time from what we’d rather be doing. We might be the worst workaholics in the world but I once read a quote from a famous feminist writer to this effect: “Writing is the one thing that, when I’m doing it, I don’t feel like I need to be doing something else.” That sentence sums up why we do it. Compulsion comes into play here but with the effect of positivism that other compulsions don’t normally convey. When we go for a walk it’s usually to clear our minds for another eight hours of solitary confinement with a P.C., typewriter or perhaps a notebook if we are having a restless day. 

 

     When you see a writer friend absorbed in internet research, a nose stuck in a book, pounding away on a keyboard or hiding in a corner with a pad and pen, don’t shake your head and stomp your feet. We’re being who we are. Yes, we really love you but we must write. Take us to lunch once in a while and don’t pay any attention when our eyes glaze over. We’re saner than you realize and we just need a little space for that idea fermenting in the brain. 

     In conclusion, here’s a piece of advice to all those who are sadly watching the writer quietly go about his/her work. If you buy them anything, as a gift perhaps, buy them some extra time. “How does someone buy time?” you ask. Of course, you can’t literally buy time but there are many things you can do for them which frees up said time. Be sensitive to what is unnecessarily taking up their precious hours to the point of distraction and there’s the answer. For me, personally, if I could afford a cook and maid I’d hire them now. I like having a decent-looking yard but wish I could just stay at my computer rather than mow or rake the lawn or any of the other numerous outside tasks which seem to be endless. If I had a handyman to fix the 100,000 things that need doing- bliss!

Enough said !

The Castle Lady

Friday Night at the Movies

  

Back on March 4^th, the night of the Oscars I took the evening off to settle in and see what everyone was wearing for glorious attire, hair and makeup styles and of course, the winners of best awards. I was keen on seeing clips of The Post and Darkest Hour because the stars of these two films are two of my favorites- Meryl and Gary Oldman. To me they are not mere actors but true personas of their respective characters and in this case, of actual people and not so open to interpretation by the emulator. Even Oldman’s wife was purported, by him at the Golden Globes, to say that when she went to bed it seemed as if she was going to bed with Churchill but glad that she’d wake up to her husband! When you can fool a spouse, loved one or someone who knows you very well you’re a thespian of the highest order, as far as I’m concerned.

Meryl Streep never ceases to amaze me no matter who she depicts and she’s had some challenges which have increased her abilities even just within the scope of her work in the 21^st century. Most recently she has shown an uncanny ability to become the heroine in question whether it’s Julia Childs, Margaret Thatcher or a previously obscure woman such as Florence Foster Jenkins. Portraying living people must be a challenge unique to its genre but portraying people no longer living would be more difficult because they are no longer available to consult or observe and inquire about events in their life and how they felt- if given the opportunity.

    

I read Katherine Graham’s book, Personal History, some years after it was originally published in 1997 (on loan from my Aunt Florence) during two flights and a week long visit to Washington, D.C. in August of 2002- only a year after my grand tour of castles which coincided with 9/11 ! I felt pressure to turn it into a fast read because there are well over six hundred pages of it but the wealth of information it packed boggled my mind and it was written quite in the manner that the title implies. When I was finished I felt that I truly knew Ms Graham as well as any of my family members. Her husband Eugene and children- particularly her daughter Lally- were very well drawn in the book and the struggles and personal pain well conveyed.

     Since The Post actually centers on her inherited role as the editor and publisher of the Washington Post a good part of what I read wasn’t a part of the movie. In fact, very much like the movie All the President’s Men it was meant to center on herself and Nixon era Washington, D.C. The plot of the film conveys how she handled the hottest potato that any newspaper ever dealt with in U.S. history- that of Watergate. Her book covers history that predates her in 1908 (when her parents met) clear up to the 1990s where it wraps up rather tersely but still packed with information.

 https://inews.co.uk/culture/film/gary-oldman-oscar/

     After the Oscars aired I became determined to see these two films in the context I think all films should still be viewed. At a theater near me, of course! So, on March 16^th, for the first Friday in I-don’t-know-how-long I took off for the hills (literally) for a movie watching marathon. What would we do without the dollar movies, huh? I skipped dinner for this so it was in order to get something at concessions and get in the right theater to watch Darkest Hour which had already started at 6:45. I think I only missed the first five minutes but I had the sinking feeling that this movie started with some bang because other than knowing that Oldman was looking every bit like Churchill- had he been a little less corpulent in his life- I didn’t know at what point in WWII we were looking at and as it turns out, was irrelevant according to the viewpoint of this film. There was some humor which I noted went over the heads of Americans but because of my travel savvy caused me to be the first and sometimes the only person laughing like a hyena at the quips. This screenplay, written by Anthony McCarten, certainly gave me a perspective on Churchill I would’ve otherwise never understood on my own. Gary was, of course, absolutely brilliant and owned the part. I’ll bet that no one else will ever try to personify Churchill again except for a spot or two on Saturday Night Live- where nothing is sacred.

     I had to wait a little in the lobby before The Post started for the last show of the evening at 9:45 p.m. I’m sure I was bug-eyed by then but didn’t care about that at all. I was about to see the marvelous craft of Meryl. In fact, she once again shed Meryl and became Katherine Graham during a time in her life which put her at her most stressed and drawn besides the hospitalization and subsequent suicide of her husband, Phil. Meryl didn’t look physically drawn but I feel she did a tremendous job in making it emotionally apparent and I’m very interested to know how Ms Graham would’ve felt about the performance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIlKOu5GzmE   (video clip of The Post)

    

Unfortunately, Katherine (or Kay as she was known by those who knew her well) passed away in 2001. Only a year before I read her book she had a fatal fall on a visit to Sun Valley, Idaho with a blow to the head. Within three days she passed away and was interred at the historic Oak Hill Cemetery which is just across the street from a former home of hers in Georgetown. As abruptly and almost rudely as her end was, her life played out quite rich in experiences and associations with people. I was in awe at how much detail of her life she remembered well enough to write a book without wordiness or embellishment. The movie’s screenplay doesn’t really cover a large part of her life but the drama it centers on begins in the twenty-second chapter of Personal History and the events leading up to 1972- that unforgettable year for anyone who lived through it.

     Any film which brings to light the way that newspapers compete and interact with each other is a subject of real fascination for me. I believe in the printed word every bit as much as having additional media such as the internet. It’s my opinion but I have a lot of company whether the media people want to believe it or not. Having the printed word unassociated with government control of any kind is absolutely essential to a democracy. People do not seem to understand that the internet is not wildly free country. (If you watched Zuckerberg on T.V.- a billionaire, you understand- saying, “Sir, yes, sir” over and over again you have seen what kind of control the government plans on exerting on the American populace.)

     If you have not seen these films I urge you to, by whatever means. Awards aside, these were the blockbusters of the year as far as I’m concerned. Check them out !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrfXHYgTRps   (Meryl being interviewed about the part)

You May Already be a Winner !

     

     I’ve wanted to share this information for a little over a year now and this is most likely as good a time as any. Sweepstakes are normally not my thing. How many of you have bought lottery or Lotto tickets on a regular basis? My understanding about this subculture we have in common with almost every spot in the world is that a good percentage of the global population spend their discretionary income regularly on buying these tickets, entering sweepstakes and trying their luck on any number of chance-to-win gaming. (Not including out-and-out gambling at casinos and gambling resorts.) There are parts of the world where a lot of this is illegal, most likely because there has been so much fraud connected with these temptations for fortune. It seems like nearly everywhere you go to do business, for pleasure or perhaps even your mailbox (with companies such as Publishers Clearing House) have some type of chance-to-win game or sweeps offering incredible amounts of money (or pricey luxury items) as prizes. Even Avon gets into this once a year and they allow the representatives to participate! One hard and fast stipulation is that with sweepstakes they can’t require you to buy anything in order to have a chance to win something. So the theory goes…

     I admit that I have been caught up in this madness with free Monopoly game tickets supplied at specific grocery stores. I’ve been trying to win that one million dollar cash prize for going on four years now and I have won some prizes like $50 grocery gift cards or even $5 cash here and there. Winning anything will keep you trying, you know! I don’t know if the mentality of this is all that healthy but it certainly can make you a better consumer, in truth. Now that can’t be all bad, can it? LOL  If we could fathom what the chances actually are we most likely wouldn’t even start with the entering, buying or just collecting tickets. Free chances to win are the biggest draw. You won’t even notice that you actually are spending more money than you ought to, huh ? Wink.

     At any rate, there is always a chance to win the big prize. The doozy. One starts to think about the logistics of spending or keeping a million dollars. It can truly make your head swim! When that happens to me I usually just sit down and start reading a book. So much for getting overexcited. Can money buy you all the time in the world? It can if you want it to but there are many things money can’t buy. It won’t buy back your health and won’t make people care or have compassion. You may catch yourself overindulging in something you know is no good for you. It cannot ultimately bring you happiness. If you are not a happy person before you get the money, you most likely won’t be any happier after you do get it. For years I’ve quoted this because it’s true and KISS rock star Paul Stanley was the first to say it. “Money has the unique ability to help you forget about money.”  Indeed. One has to consciously and purposely ignore money. In adulthood, it’s irrelevant until you have to pay a bill or assume responsibility for something which gains its impetus on the spending and taking-in of cold, hard cash.

      The big smile you see in the photo below for this entry is a nameless winner of the jackpot for which she’s holding said ticket. That’s a lot of money even if she had to share a portion with other winners. Not a bad cash outlay- $5- to win perhaps $5 million or much more, huh? I’d be smiling like that, too, you know. Millions of dollars won is life changing money. You’ll notice that it’s a quick pick ticket so she didn’t choose any of the numbers on the ticket. “But what is that product that she’s holding bottoms-up in the photo?”, you ask. Notice that the number is an exact replication of the A-line on her ticket? Wasn’t this a quick pick? It certainly was and there is an astounding answer to those questions. Her Zone diet purchase lot number just happened to mirror her winning number! She noticed this shortly after she found out the ticket was a winner. (Not before, by what I understand.) Perhaps, it’s a sign- certainly not an omen but rather its opposite. It was not instrumental in her winning a dime and yet there it is in black and white- just in case she missed or decided not to play that day.

      I have a theory about this that may also make you think long and hard about chance or being lucky. To me, that’s a sign that she was destined to win that money almost like an approval seal from God. It was not luck, it was meant to happen. This may give you a better or different perspective on gambling but hopefully not to an extreme. All of these purveyors of sweepstakes and ticket-to-win gaming outlets always say, “You can’t win if you don’t play.” That’s true and healthy. Just keep it to moderation. Don’t let the idea of winning more money than you could ever in your lifetime accrue by any means take over your life and mind. Be grateful for what you have and just be happy. Bring happiness to that win and it can make all the difference in the quality of your life and those around you.

The Castle Lady

When We Lose Great Men

     A year before Billy Graham’s passing, which occurred on February twenty-first this year, I was made aware by Christian Television programming that he had achieved his 98^th birthday and was amazed. I realized that he was getting up in years from his wife Ruth’s passing some years back and was hoping that he would make it to his 100^th birthday. So many people think that this is still a rare occurrence. They are incorrect, however. It has come to my attention that many more people, than ever before, are not only achieving their centennial but are living past that iconic age by several more years! While I can’t make any scientific conclusions from my casual research on this subject, it is certain that something is changing in our world that makes aging past the age of 100 possible. Are people living better? Are they maintaining superior health practices or sustenance in their daily lives? Perhaps they are just luckier than people were in the 20^th century. (Before and after World War II the average life expectancy of males who worked regular physical labor jobs was 39!) Heart attacks were the number one cause of decease through the second half of the 20^th century. Stress was blamed for this, eventually but I’m sure the fact that smoking and drinking alcohol which was very prevalent during the second half of that century also played a part.

     The 21^st century has taken a turn for the better for overall health but our stress factor may be worse than ever. Blame it on the times. Billy Graham did and with emphasis in nearly every one of his sermons which always focused primarily on salvation. I think he was wise in staying on subject. Jesus never asked us to do more than what Billy Graham did on almost a daily basis throughout most of his career as an evangelist. He may very well be the most accomplished evangelist the world has ever known aside from Jesus himself. (Billy Graham would’ve wanted me to say it that way!)

     I think it is rather consequential that Billy Graham passed away not much more than a month after I put up an entry on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr on my rock pages blog on his national observance day. Something about it seems right and natural. I believe that Mr. King’s dream is coming true and is being realized even while people are on the march and saying things must change. They are right but it must start in our minds first. Go back and listen to his speech which he left ringing in our ears before he was taken from our presence. He knew that he was starting a fire that someone else would have to hold up and speak out and continue to remind us that we must unify because Christ decreed it. These two men were much more alike than they were different. What more needs to be said?

Say it!

The Castle Lady

March Weirdness

This month may be almost over but everyone in Denver and/or Colorado will probably heave a sigh of relief when it is officially history. Most of last year was dry with few rain or snow storms and this year is proving no different- up until very recently. I made a trip to Home Depot on Tuesday afternoon after a fairly good overnight snow and among the items on my list I decided to once again buy some cement to finish up some work I did two years ago in summer. I had saved my Russian Olive tree early in the morning with a cleverly quick trim on an overhanging branch and I was feeling lucky- just like I should.

     At this point I should remind everybody of my rule of thumb for March: In like a lion, out like a lamb. In like a lamb, out like a lion. In Colorado this can be taken quite literally with almost no exceptions.

     As soon as I got home with new window well covers, et al the forecasts were suddenly imminent. “The weather is changing…the weather is changing…” clucked Chicken Little, the weather forecaster. I looked at the dry-as-a-bone and powdery dirt around the window wells, and what I thought was pourable concrete and laughed my head off and decided to put it off until yesterday. Big mistake.

     When I started out everything had melted off and it was difficult to tell that it had snowed the previous night. The air was chilly but that isn’t unusual for Denver. Our nights are cold in the middle of summer- which, by the way, make summer mornings very pleasant. Ahem!

     I had already prepped the window well for installation and while doing so, found that I was suddenly swimming in mud. Rain! I had put my fashionable galoshes on but decided to hold off on the second one and go in until the rain went away. It did.

     I dried out the spot that I wanted to fill in with pourable concrete. A neighbor helped me pry open the easy open container and discovered that it wasn’t pourable or even concrete putty. It was completely powder with NO ROCKS ! The latter was the good part but the former meant that I had dried out what I could’ve used and quite quickly to finish the job I had started. (It’s just a matter of getting it completely level and completely smooth!)

     The skies started graying up again which may or may not mean rain, especially in Denver. My neighbor said something accidentally ominous. “It’s supposed to rain for days you know.” I laughed and said, “In Denver anything can happen. You know how dry it’s been.” Then we both laughed. I decided to go ahead and try some of the powder with some leftover rainwater to level the area and perhaps later make more to smooth it completely over.

      I patched up all the little potholes and unevenness and went inside to clean up and get to home and hearth. In less than an hour we suddenly had one of our rarest occurrences. Il fait pluie/neige! We’ve had combined snow and rain in Denver before but this was a bona fide sludge storm. I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere! Ever. Until yesterday.

     I ran out as fast as I could and covered the area with a plastic wheelbarrow but I don’t know if it prevented anything. It was supposed to set within 30 minutes so I can only hope my patches survived. I’ll let you know, of course. I’m basically recuperating from a fiasco so this could take awhile. March madness is no match for March weirdness! 

The Castle Lady

   

The Happy Factor

    

If you are acquainted with the oft used text and Twitter anagram IRL (= In Real Life) then you may be a great candidate to read the following entry. My idea for this came from the fact that I am too often passed off or tagged a Pollyanna because I’m usually counter to negativism by using positive statements. Everyone needs to deal with sadness and depression at times in their lives but the quicker that you deal with the causes and decide to be happy, no matter what, then you’ll never have to be a part of the worldwide epidemic of depression. If you could use your mental and physical powers to lift yourself out of a funk rather than take a pill wouldn’t it be worth it? Here goes:

     1. Social media friends may be the worst source for help with depression. You are more affected by the people in your immediate environment than you realize and the sooner you come to grips with this the faster you’ll be on the road to happiness. In the Bible, one commandment reads: Love thy neighbor as thyself. Even if you don’t even talk to your neighbors you can be affected by the things they do, how they conduct their affairs in and out of your area. Your home is a sanctuary and they affect it. When you make peace with this consequential circumstance most of your work will be done. However, your next door neighbor isn’t your only neighbor. Where you work and who you work with is included into this and even people you see on a regular basis elsewhere is also a neighbor. That means on a plane seat, people in your car pool, etc. Teach yourself to see a bit of yourself in these people. Once you can truly empathize then you can get a handle on dealing with other people’s problems. It doesn’t mean you have to solve them- that’s in their area- but you can at least come out of your own skin and make some peace out of what can too easily become chaos.

     2. One sure way to clear your head of negative, unhappy moods and mindsets is to get some fresh air every morning. Get your body moving to aid your head from fogginess and forgetfulness. Forgetfulness is a symptom of depression. Go for a brisk walk every morning where there is mostly trees, other walkers, pets on the move and children running about playing hopscotch or whatever. It’s the finest and quickest mind-clearing exercise known. It works. Do it!

     3. Form an actual group of likeminded people (outside of social media contacts, unless they are people you see everyday in your real life). The best way to get happy and stay happy is to seek out those types of individuals. My experience in trying to cheer up people with serious depression issues is that misery loves company. They will bring you down unless you are determined to get and stay happy. My suggestion is to start dropping something positive into conversations with people you know are prone to depression. Do not hang around. Just call it your ‘happy bomb’ and move on. You’ve got too much of a great day to have to hang around for the excuses. Who knows? You may get them on your happy team eventually.

     4. Happiness is as much a sport as an actual sport. You’ll need to exercise it everyday and in every facet of your life. It’s a good and healthy habit and you won’t be taking any kind of pill unless it’s one of those placebos which debunk, often, even the biggest of naysayers. If you think you need a reason to be so happy then make a little happiness here and there for others. A key to all of this is that you need to get out of your own head and get a larger view of the world. The news can, too often, create a depression that you are unaware of so determine that each incident is just that- an incident, and not the entirety of life.

     5. Make sure you do something for yourself everyday. There’s no better way to keep a lighthearted and upbeat attitude than to be good to you. If you’re a person who tends toward self-criticism you’ll need to use this therapy on a regular basis. The objective is to get out of your own way and stop treating yourself like an enemy. Learning to really love yourself is a way to give peace of mind to everyone in your environment or neighborhood which includes you. You don’t have to spend money to do this by the way. Once you get a little creative you’lll find how inexpensive this advice really is and that it is essential to a happy life.

      There is more I could say but I think you can take this advice and run with it now…

Happiness is what you make it. Just like the song. 

 

 

Don't Get Your Tinsel in a Tangle!

     What a year 2017 has been ! Mine has been up and down like a yo-yo but with victories being prevalent I’ve decided that this is life for now, not forever. If getting those victories means I have to deal with different problems for awhile then everything is working out for the better. Momentum might just get me a homer. Well, it’s easier to go with that rather than focus on bad stuff which will eventually just work itself out, anyway. My mother’s influence was always positive and she very seldom became unhinged over anything. Positive thinking and living is the better way. Also, Mom always said, “Whatever everyone else does- you do the right thing, anyway.”

     My greatest victory this year was defeating debt that looked impossible to surmount through 2015 and 2016. That is a big sigh of relief you just heard in the background. My rule of thumb has been never to get into more debt than you can pay off on any given month. It may sound strange to some but building credit is just as important as clearing the deck of finances. Having a good credit rating is akin to having those lines of credit with the bank. Those are good to have but generally a bit low especially for the needs of an average homeowner today. If you wanted to start a business, would you be able to finance it with the type of credit that is available to you?

     I have had clients tell me they have filed bankruptcies with a gleam in their eyes like they got away with something. Nothing could be further from the truth, however. Just wait until they desperately need a loan or have to do something drastic like mortgage their house because of an emergency! The perceived risk factor by the potential creditor may put you into such a high interest rate that it could put you in the red for the rest of your life. And that’s if you get such a break because bankruptcies are usually anathema to creditors. Any credit counselor will tell you that because it’s true.

     There is no worse feeling than knowing that you worked as hard as you could only to find that because you made bad financial decisions there is no way out of a rut. I can certainly testify to that because I have spent most of my life literally working on clients hand and foot! The only creditor who will esteem your hard work is yourself- i.e. do you give yourself credit? - and maybe a friend or two. So your financial decisions are crucial to your life and livelihood in the long term. You may win the PCH sweepstakes but if you make financial decisions based on those suppositions you could really get yourself in a bind. You may as well gamble with loaded dice in Vegas!

      Being realistic, prioritizing the needs from the wants and plain old budgeting will back up your hard-earned cash. Being thrifty, couponing and going for the discounts on your i-phone also help but if you put too much or too little on your credit card you’re missing out on the best way to get control of your finances in a very real way. Only multimillionaires and billionaires can spend money like there’s no tomorrow. All those making $12,000 or less per year better learn their math and how to budget especially if you’ve started to spend money in an adult fashion. Your future financial status depends on it.

The Castle Lady