Love Bears All Things....

 

Nequaquam nobis divinitus esse paratam

Naturam rerum; tanta stat praedita culpa

-Lucretius

 

(Had God designed the world, it would not be

A world so frail and faulty as we see.) 

 

     I believe that the happiest people in the modern world are those who experience many deep friendships. We feel obligated to family (usually), and also to spouses and often, even our children. One purposefully forms friendships and this is where the difference lies. We choose our friends and keep the relationships alive through our own volition. Is it any wonder that many times, we prefer the love of our friendships over the love of family and family ties?

     This is not as unusual as many people seem to think. If you have never read C.S. Lewis' book, "The Four Loves" I highly recommend that you do so and as soon as possible. It is the single most book that I can point to and say it made a difference in almost every long term relationship I've had since. It has also been effective in shorter term and fleeting relationships as well. Those which were established before I read it- such as family and people I have known all my life have been a little more difficult to apply the principles to- but if you read the book you will understand why.

     There is a serious problem today of lack of affection between people who may ordinarily have closer ties or at least friendlier relationships for many complicated and not-so-complicated reasons. The increase in social-interactive crimes, identity theft, and a general- purportedly justified- lack of trust is mostly to blame. Our social ills also add to this general alienation between people and cinch the problem.

     If you have attended a church which includes primary Bible studies including regular services then you have been taught to know that God is love and that all love comes from Him. Additionally, we know that we cannot love without Him. Love has many dimensions, faces and duties- just like God. The same way we learn to trust God we can also learn to trust each other. This is possible even in the perilous times we live in if we learn to use discernment.

     Discernment has been a rather unused virtue for the past few decades and I don't see any improvements in wisdom or judgment either. We rely more on our general mistrust and skepticism than we do with our minds. It is a sign of the times but it's also sad. Are we to sacrifice relationships which might be more fulfilling than any other only because of fear ? 

     I believe there's a better way and my feeling is that great discernment is God-given. This requires trust in God first and then you can tap into this "mind" of God and know many things. This is scriptural. Look up Philippians 2:5 which reads "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." This is a verse full of power because it gives us awesome abilities with our own minds. If you repeat this scripture often it's like repeating the promises. Your mental abilities increase immeasurably.

 

Be blessed with abundance and my kisses !

The Castle Lady

 

It is impossible to understand the things of God

standing in the shadows of disbelief.

- Evelyn M. Wallace (2004) 

    

    

       

 

A Resolute Heart

"The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one.

 Commitment is healthiest when it's not without doubt but in spite of doubt."

- Rollo May

 

     You may wonder why I would begin this entry with a quote from a known humanist and yet I believe that some of the best words which fit my criteria come from sources which most people would view as being from left field- given my dedication to being a Christian. Sometimes, however, pearls come from surprising sources. They often crop up where you least expect to find them and I don't think it takes away anybody's credibility to ask questions concerning matters of faith and belief.

     Faith concerns reliance on intangibles and speculations. Matters of faith are a challenge to the skeptic but those challenges should be made reciprocal. One of my favorite quotes by Francis Bacon is thus: "If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin in doubts he shall end in certainties." Some of the best questions about faith come from skeptical people and when I take on these inquiries I find it strengthening. Perhaps because one must ask these questions of themselves to understand why they believe the way they do.

     I feel the same about my work in writing in general and  the castles project. I am not only committed to my projects but I am resolved to see them come to completion and fruition. A resolute heart is one which has moved beyond faith and into the realm of complete devotion and total possession of the object of desire. It's yours and no one can take it from you.

     Furthermore, I respect a resolute heart. This is the heart of God and we have the capability, by being his creation, to this inheritance. He is devoted to us and has made many commitments to us which is repeated over and over in the Bible that he will keep. Did you know we are God's favorite subject? We are not his only subject of interest but we are His primary concern. 

     Knowing this not only makes me feel secure in His love, it also gives me the impetus to emulate him. To be more and more like Him. All I have to do is be myself. 

 

With resolute kisses, The Castle Lady !      

 

    

 

 

Independence Has Rewards

     Recently I came across a quote by Mahalia Jackson when I was going through some old papers that I'd written down from some mysterious source and then promptly put it away for future reference. This quote struck me as particularly apt for our times and for my personal current status, too.

 

It's easy to be independent when you've got money.

But to be independent when you haven't got a thing-

that's the Lord's test.

 

      I don't know exactly how I felt about this quote when I first saved it but I've always had an independent spirit and perhaps I felt it was a bit curious of a statement. It's only more recently that I've noticed a negative aspect to my penchant for doing things my own way. Lack of support never seemed to be an issue nor did hardship. My mind hasn't changed at all. When I can work alone at something and rely on my own resources -that's when I hit a happy state that is almost like what the Hindus call nirvana.

     Perhaps it's because I've chosen a subject- castles to be precise- that seems too remote to people. Very few relate to castles or castle lore save for those who live very close by them. (People who live in Northumberland or Yorkshire come to mind.) My internet traffic on my web site and castlelady blog is most often from native English speakers when I check statistics, less often French and even more rarely others. The inquiries repeat themselves over and over again and they are very basic and almost ignorant. I think it's sad that people who have not experienced castles appear to have little or no interest in them. I would perhaps do better in England and Europe with my books than I could possibly ever achieve in sales with Americans.

     The sad part of this is that I want to get Americans excited about castles and I have made very little progress as far as I can tell. Since I have been reading about and poring over photos of castles from my childhood I almost take my own interest for granted but I can't afford to take it for granted. Too many people around me need to catch up and I may as well be speaking Greek as to talk about what I know of my subject.

     Here's the positive: It's like uncharted territory and I have to find out how to spark the interest in the architectural aspect of castles along with whatever people might find intriguing about them. I never realized how much I knew until I started talking about castles with people and then writing about them. For many years I silently studied with no desire to speak of my interest. I have been unaware, all this time, that my passion was like a secret love and it astonishes those who never thought about them. At times, it's like I'm talking about monsters. Other times I find someone who asks all the right questions and then I'm in my element.

      Along with the lack of interest and ignorance there is no financial support for such an endeavor. I could stand up in front of any university crowd and give dissertation after dissertation but I don't have any such credentials to do so and I don't think there would be any support of such training save for an architectural college. Even then, my subject would be largely irrelevant to them, eventually, for the most part. These people have to make a living when they leave with their degrees. 

      Following this path will be a lonely one but I can handle that- and there are rewards there, too. Jesus said, "A prophet hath no honor in his own country." Perhaps someday I'll see an outpouring of interest to match that of sports, movies, music and the like- until then I'll just have to revel in the hidden rewards which exist in rugged individualism and true independence. 

Individual kisses from The Castle Lady  

Earth Day ~April 22nd~ Change is Good !

     One way to make a true difference in our current times is to be ready for change but how does one prepare for change? In truth, people are such creatures of habit we could be compared to salmon during spawning season when it comes to rearranging and reordering all our ritualistic days of duties, obligations and schedules. Indeed, the idea of even making small sacrifices in the ways we've always done things is enough to make us want to dig our heels into the dirt like stubborn goats and refuse to even talk about it. Is it any wonder that when we hear that word our natural inclination is only to cringe inside?

     When someone prepares for times such as these- slow economy, supply scarcity, money problems and debt- it's imperative to get ready for drastic sacrifices perhaps and learn to live in a different way. This makes me think of words from Thoreau's book, Walden:

 

        I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do. We may waive just so much care of ourselves as we honestly bestow elsewhere. Nature is as well adapted to our weakness as to our strength. The incessant anxiety and strain of some is a well-nigh incurable form of disease. We are made to exaggerate the importance of what work we do: and yet how much is not done by us! or, what if we had been taken sick? How vigilant we are ! determined not to live by faith if we can avoid it; all the day long on the alert, at night we unwillingly say our prayers and commit ourselves to uncertainties. So thoroughly and sincerely are we compelled to live, reverencing our life, and denying the possibility of change. This is the only way, we say; but there are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one center. All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant.

 

     From reading this anyone could sense that we are really ignoring the true essence of our lives. We are much more adaptable than the average animal because we are essentially a higher intelligence. Often, however, we see animals coping with environmental changes (which we made) easier than we did ourselves !

     Many people will have a difficult time with conforming to less consumerism, less waste, less necessities, etc. but if we set our minds to economy then it is not so difficult to start altering our standards, if only for a time. This is only one instance of adaptation. Perhaps your industry has dried up and you're now looking at having to go back to technical college, learn a new profession or restart a business at a new location.

     Some will face other "run-off" problems involving social interaction and even coping with discrimination. We cannot know everything that will come at us when we're trying to improve our lives but we can change the way we feel about our lives and the lives of those around us even in the midst of hardship or perhaps because of it. This is the day of repentance. It is upon us and we must listen not only to our hearts but look in each others eyes for the answers as well. As my mother would say:

 

United we stand, divided we fall.

 

The Castle Lady

 

 

     

Iraq? Don't Get Me Started...

     When thinking about our continuing occupation in Iraq I always think of two quotes which I found to be true: 

 

When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered. -Dorothy Thompson (1894-1961) American Newspaper Columnist

 

"If I were an American, as I am an Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country I never would lay down my arms,- never! never! never!" -William Pitt, Earl of Chatham,  during a speech November 18, 1777

 

    

     These are, in essence, the basis of my opinion.  For democracy to prevail in such a war-torn country as Iraq, they must propagate their own form of a democratic society. This may not necessarily match our version in the U.S. Few countries have such a difficult set of decisions to make concerning how to be fair to all religious groups inhabiting their land and make any form of democracy work. How does one make democracy work in such an environment ? Most religions work upon some mutual goals: respect for other religions, commonalities in philosophies and personal deportment, working for the common good even among widely-differing opinions. Radical Islam is a rare exception to this rule and intolerance is rampant and militant in most cases. The basis of their religion in many respects is undemocratic.

      So what is the answer?

      I believe that democracy requires that the governed body of people have important points of contact in like-mindedness. They must respect a specific set of rights- whatever they determine those to be. They do not necessarily need to share the same culture. (The U.S. couldn't be more culturally diverse, right?) They need to appreciate all cultures and find ways to accommodate others.

     Militarism needs to be set aside. That won't happen as long as the United States Armed Forces reside in Iraq, it's as simple as that. Look at the type of societies run on militarism and you can see what kind of environment it creates. N. Korea, Saudi Arabia, Jerusalem, etc. Iraq has not actually changed much and it won't as long as we're there. They need to create a society that is intolerant of fascist states of mind and ways of governing. They need a real and kind leader to step up to the plate. I don't know if they have such a person but they need one.

      The United States had George Washington. Any prospects Iraq ?

 

The Castle Lady sends out lots of encouragement !

Remember....?

Remember when self image meant nothing?

Remember when fun was "king" ?

Spring has sprung so let's have fun !

The Castle Lady ; )

It's That Day Again !

Sla'inte is ta'inte !

(pron. slawn-chuh iss tawn-chuh)

If you've never heard this quote, you will if you ever celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Ireland. For many years now the Irish have made their way to New York to celebrate because the type of celebrating we make here in the States was so different than what they allowed on their own shores. That's of the past now since they recently voted for an official holiday in Ireland making a St. Patrick's Day to rival our own.

You're probably thinking that I have a wee bit of Irish in me and you would be right- on both sides of my parentage. I think that makes it official.

Something I have never understood- until recently- is how words like hooligan came to be thought of as Irish. The ironic part of this is that it came from an Irish name which was originally O' hUallachain. In English we say Houlihan which eventually morphed into hooligan when a rowdy street gang run by a family of that same name terrorized London during the 1890s. Even a song was circulated in the pubs making that name stick officially for any hoodlum.

The English probably knew how to deal with a slew (sluagh, Gaelic for crowd or army) of hooligans. Just break their pints of ale to smithereens ( from Gaelic, smidirini) and put the kibosh (from Gaelic, cie bais) on their drinking galore. (from Gaelic, gu leor)

Now here's a word you might not expect and it even surprised me! Cairn is an Irish word you don't hear very often and possibly not at all on American shores. A cairn is a pile of stones set up as a landmark, monument or possibly even a grave. St. Patrick is buried along with another saint underneath such an edifice. I wrote very recently about these curiosities on my Castlelady Live Space in January. If you read the entry which was titled "Castlerigg, Stonehenge and other Stone Circles" you'll recall that I mentioned Carnac in Brittany, France.

The similarity of the words did not escape my attention and I'm sure you noticed it, too. What you may not know, however is that Ireland and Brittany do not belong in the same branch of Celts. I can hear you ask, "There's more than one?" yes. The Celts are, in fact, made up of two families. The Irish, Scottish Highlanders and the Manx (Isle of man) are of the Goidelic branch,- the true Gaels. The Welsh, Bretons and Cornish are of the Brythonic branch who spoke the Briton language. You will find variations between the Brythonic languages which make these quite different even amongst their own but what you normally don't see are the words that suddenly appear quite alike- such as cairn and carn- outside their respective branches.

You learn something new everyday !

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everybody !

Running Out of Patience?

I receive regular e-mails from the DCCC on a regular basis and the last one I received caught my attention because it contained words that struck me as a Bushism. (For the uninformed, a Bushism is a mangled quote and is a trademark of the former Bush administration and, of course, Bush himself.) In it, Michele Bachmann ( a republican Congresswoman) is quoted as saying, "We're running out of rich people." This is such an ignorant remark that now I'm wondering if she actually meant to say, "All the rich people are running out of this country." Now that would be truthful but we know that there has been a clear trend for quite some time now of deception coming from the GOP so we're left not knowing if she's just ignorant or can't really see what's been going on for more than eight years now. It's quite possible that she refuses to see.

You see, the U.S. economy has been taking serious hits ever since a policy was instituted in this country of giving tax breaks to businesses that took their industries out of our borders. Outsourcing has been one of the most harrowing economic blunders ever to hit this country in its wallet. Just to illustrate this for everyone, fiscally, it is like giving your child an allowance for feeding your neighbor's dog while ignoring your own. So how do we fix the problem?

Well, first we need to take away that ridiculous tax break they've been giving to these businesses who don't care about Americans or their livelihood or how they're going to pay for all that stuff pouring in from Asia. The second action is to institute a special import tax for all those goods coming from our outsourced supply which comes from many countries. The tax break should go to those who are investing and banking on our own fiscal health right here in the good ol' USA.

I have had several people ask me, if I went into politics, what my own key issues would center on. Several ideas come to mind including the one above but in all honesty I have felt that the insurance industry is one that has needed serious reform for decades. The reason why insurance is such a financial burden on this country's citizens is because the office that was supposed to regulate the agencies and companies does nothing of the sort. As a matter of fact, if you call the Insurance Commission on most issues you will find that they work in close alliance with the insurance companies-not with the people, who they were instituted to represent.

The insurance companies claim fraud eats into their companies' coffers when, as a matter of fact, they spend more money on investigating fraud than the so-called fraudulent claims cost. The real issues are on the amounts of money it exacts from consumers while giving nothing in return and, with the help of the Insurance Commission, making it impossible for many people to get the money entitlements they deserve. You won't see any commercial for that on T.V. It's not fair for an insurance company to penalize those people who pay their insurance premiums faithfully and don't make any false claims. State Farm and all the rest would have you believe that they have no choice but they do.

If the average person looked at the insurance budget he is on currently and the policies he's signed, he'll find he is over insured in many areas- including his automobile insurance. Not only that, he'll find that any amount of income he could have used as truly discretionary (i.e. to buy luxuries) is sunk into insurance premiums which are never returned to him in any amount. To me, this is almost feudal and somewhat like having to deal with the Mafia.

A more honest system of insurance would be rebating. What do I mean by that? Well, in essence, any and all policyholders who pay for their insurance in installments would, after a certain time period, have a portion of their premium money returned if they have made no claims on their insurance. This could jumpstart the economy in a way never before seen just by putting money back into the hands of the person who earned it. This is the only fair way to reward someone who has managed to live in a responsible way. I would call it the 'good citizen' rebate. I would like to see this happen with every type of insurance with the possible exception of life insurance which works on a completely different basis.

In conclusion, I'd like to mention that an economic recovery for this country is going to take time and a lot more effort if we really want to turn every aspect of the problems around. It may take more than four years of Obama's administration but if we all work together on the issues a lot can be done in four or eight years. The Clinton administration proved that so let's get to work. Okay?

The Castle Lady with lots of love !

Brainstorms in the Dead of Night

     I have a book that I would recommend to any writer for its comradely support. It was published specifically for this reason and there is one entry in there I have read a couple of times now. The book title is : Rules of Thumb- 73 Authors Reveal Their Writing Fixations. The entry by Samantha Hunt reminds me of my similar experience with inconvenient inspirational moments:

Knock, Knock, Knock

 

     Sometimes if I'm lucky, I'll wake up in the middle of the night with a phrase or sentence echoing in my head. I have never felt responsible for these words plucked from an unconscious reservoir, but rather imagine that they have arrived here, in the dead of night from some exterior source, possibly even off the lips of someone I was talking to in a dream. The phrases rarely make sense. "You weren't going to do all that you nosy queen of habitat," I remember one of them saying.

     Despite the lack of meaning gleaned from the phrases, I feel that to ignore these words would show a terrific lack of respect for mystery, and so it is my one writing rule that I force myself to get up in the wee hours and record these ( really often very dumb) messages so that I might remember them in the morning. "Into the forest I walk with the good bear. Goodbyes and lacerations." What the heck does that mean? I haven't the slightest idea, but I wrote it down anyway. It's the rule.

     Perhaps these phrases are the lowliest of words, the desperate beggars that come knocking at midnight wanting to be put to use in a story. Maybe they are ghost phrases destined to wander in ambiguity until some mortal tries to make sense of them. Or perhaps they are stern warnings that I am just too dense to decode. Or else maybe they are gifts , gifts of nonsense. It doesn't seem to matter. All I know is that were I to ignore these foolish words I would somehow cheapen the value of all words. So in the dark I obey these voices, these midnight inconveniences, not out of superstition but because they connect me to that which is most crucial to my writing: the gloriously inadvertent, the perfectly unintended.

 

     While I may not be able to relate to everything she wrote I have had moments where I have woken up with a paragraph burning to roll off my pen. I also have obeyed these voices and been pleasantly surprised at the revelations and wise words which seemed to come out of nowhere. I feel that this is spiritual and must not be ignored. I believe all writers should practice this because we are a special breed and we certainly know who we are, don't we? Ms. Hunt takes it seriously and I think we all should. The truth is that if we are dyed-in-the-wool writers we can't help it anyway!

     There are times when I am in the park walking and then a couple of divine sentences overwhelm me and I know that one of those rare moments is upon me. The perplexity is being caught without pen and paper to jot them down as quickly as possible. I have also woken up in the wee morning hours grappling for any pen and paper in the room. At one time I started carrying a mini-cassette player around with me when I had one of these inspirational moments in the car. These revelations can come at any time so it is imperative to get them recorded, somehow, as soon as possible. I've also been without means only to find out later when I could get to writing materials that my memory had lapsed by then and those fleeting gifts of wit were gone and irretrievable.

      If you get these one-offs occasionally or even frequently- and it's okay if you don't, it won't make you any less a writer- then by all means make sure you keep something handy to be able to jot down these ideas, crazy witticisms and outright nonsense ( if you will !) as quickly as possible. It's for a very good reason you were chosen to hear it. 

 

Just me, The Castle Lady with inspirational hugs and kisses !    

 

 

A Good Marriage

     Of all the types of advice we receive in a lifetime I think the most attentive you'll find a recipient is on marital advice. I've seen enough Phil Show segments myself and gotten my fair share of seeing the negative side of what can go wrong with a marriage, that a positive spin on such a subject is always a welcome change. Since I have never been married I figure it's quite a job sifting through all the aspects- good and bad- that are said but I am not sure the advice has prepared me for the (hopefully) inevitable.

     The following quotes are from a short segment on marriage by Wilfred Arlan Peterson. I thought these were very good with a few amendments of my own:

•          You are never too old to hold hands.
•          Never go to bed angry with each other.
•          Don't take your spouse for granted. Keep the courtship going perpetually and learn to be romantic.
•          Keep a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
•          Stand up for each other when facing down or to the world.
•          Do things for each other in a spirit of joy not an attitude of duty.
•          Your independence should be equal, dependence mutual and your obligations, reciprocal.
•          Don't expect perfection in each other and have compassion for failings and faults.
•          Speak words of appreciation and demonstrate gratitude in thoughtful ways of your own.
•          Learn to forgive and forget.
•          Don't forget the words "I love you" and say them as often as you feel necessary- or more often.
•          Half of marrying the right partner is being the right partner.

     The last one is so true and the most important one of all, I believe. I once read those words on a bumper sticker and it impressed me so much that I have worked on that more than all the advice I have ever received. No one is ever really ready for marriage- at any age- until they get that one right. All the rest of these pointers are much easier to execute in a relationship if you take care of that last one first!

 

Just pointing the way to marital bliss-

with a kiss!

 

 

The Castle Lady